How to Fake a Marriage
by hermyandronforevr
Summary: "What the hell are you talking about?" Hermione questioned. "You are not my husband." "That expensive wedding ring on your finger would prove otherwise," he contradicted. Chapter 18 is up.
1. You are not my husband

**Okay, I know! I'm really sorry about starting yet another fic but I couldn't help it. I'm having issues with my other fics and I got the idea for this one and I couldn't resist writing it. Please let me know what you think in a review.**

**Chapter 1: You are _not_ my husband**

Hermione rolled over in the warm bed she was sleeping in. When she felt another person's body touch her right side her eyes shot open. The person next to her was snoozing peacefully. She took one look at his pale, pointed face and blonde hair and did the only thing that seemed appropriate…She screamed.

As she let out her shrill cry she rolled over in the bed. Apparently she rolled over too much because when she did she tumbled out of the bed, taking the sheets, blanket, and pillow with her.

She looked down and noticed that she was wearing a silky green pajama top (that didn't belong to her) and a pair of cotton knickers (that thankfully did belong to her) and nothing else. She hastily covered the lower part of her body and looked up.

Her shriek had awoken her sleeping partner with a jerk. He'd raised himself up on his elbows but otherwise he remained laying lazily in the bed, peering intently at her through his sleepy, grey eyes.

Hermione glared at him angrily. She thrashed about in her entanglement of bed linens and stood up, forgetting her half-nakedness.

"Malfoy!" she shouted.

"'Morning," he replied calmly with a yawn.

"Don't you 'morning' me!" she yelled in an infuriated voice. "I don't know what you're doing here but I want you out! NOW!"

"Sorry to break it to you," Draco said, "but this is _my_ room."

Hermione looked around and her face fell with embarrassment. It was true. Nothing in the room looked familiar to her.

"Ooh!" she grunted heatedly. "Listen, you little rat. I don't know what--"

"You ought not talk to your husband like that," Draco said, not phased by the insult.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hermione questioned. "You are _not_ my husband."

"That _expensive_ wedding ring on your finger would prove otherwise," he contradicted.

Hermione looked down at her left hand and sure enough there was a gleaming gold band wrapped around her ring finger. She stared at it disbelieving for a moment.

"I told you no!" she screamed defiantly. She wrenched the ring from her finger. "This…this ring of evil means nothing to me!" she screamed lamely as she slammed it down with a clank on the dresser that was near her.

The ring trembled for a moment on the surface of the dresser with a clinking noise. It then zoomed into the air towards Hermione and forced itself back onto the finger she'd just removed it from. Hermione gaped at her hand.

"That's no ordinary Muggle wedding ring," Draco explained. "That's a wizard band. Everyone's rings are like that. It makes it more difficult to cheat, you see. Obviously people can still cheat. They just find it extremely hard to lie about not being married."

Hermione's mind was racing. "I can't believe this!" she said as she paced back and forth in front of the bed while Draco remained laying down. "Malfoy, I told you no! Why don't I remember getting married to you? Did you put the Imperius Curse on me?"

"Of course not, Granger," Draco said. "Do you honestly think that I'd put an Unforgivable Curse on you when I'd married you to stay out of prison in the first place?"

"Then how?"

"Well, you see," Draco began as he sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed, "it was quite easy to get you to agree to marry me after you'd had a few drinks in you and I explained that it was for the good of wizard kind that we get married."

"I can't believe you!" Hermione screamed. "You little…there are no words…no words to describe you! Look, I don't care if they plan to throw you off a cliff. I'm not staying married to you."

"You have no choice," said Draco calmly.

"What do you mean I don't have a choice?" Hermione asked. "Of course I have a choice."

"No, you don't," he said defiantly. "Our marriage was sealed by magic when we took our vows."

"You mean like the Unbreak--"

"Oh no," he answered before she finished her question. "It's not quite _that_ serious. You won't _die_. Witches and Wizards are allowed to get divorced just like everyone else. But you see both people must consent to the divorce. And I refuse to consent until we've been married a year."

"Why a year?"

"Because that's long enough to convince everyone that we're actually in…" he swallowed hard and looked like he'd just eaten something extremely disgusting, "_love_. Then, after the year is up we'll simply fake a few fights in public and start making it seem our marriage is on the rocks. Then we'll ease in the divorce." After seeing the expression on her face he added, "Look, I don't want to be married to you either. _Believe _me. But as I told you before, they'll throw me in prison if I can't prove I've changed my ways. We both know I have. But the government is not as easily convinced."

"But why _me_?"

"I had to show I'd fallen in love with a Mud—_Muggle-born_," he answered. "That's the easiest way to show I'm not my old, Muggle-hating self. No Death Eater would let it be publicly known that he was married to someone who wasn't pureblooded. And you are the only Muggle-born I know well enough to marry."

Hermione bit her lip, clearly tossing everything over in her mind. She paced back and forth while ringing her hands together. Finally, she sighed and said, "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this."

Draco got out of the bed and stood up. He was wearing nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms that matched the shirt Hermione was wearing. His bare chest and stomach were thin yet attractive and unsurprisingly very pale. It was then that Hermione remembered she wasn't wearing any pants.

"Malfoy!" she shrieked picking up the pillow from the floor and holding it over her thighs to cover herself. "Where are my pants? Give them to me!"

Draco looked down at his own legs shrugged and placed his thumbs inside the waistband of the pajama pants, preparing to pull them down.

Hermione gaped at him for a second and then said, "Malfoy! Don't you dare!"

Draco smirked and picked up his wand from bedside table. "And that's another thing. We can't keep calling each other by our surnames. After all, you no longer are a Granger, you're a Malfoy. We can't very well call each other the same thing. So, we'll need to be on a first name basis."

Hermione glared at him. "I am not a Malfoy," she said through gritted teeth. He flicked his wand at the dresser on which Hermione had slammed her wedding ring down and the top drawer opened. Some of Draco's clothes flew across the room toward him. He caught them and then turned to Hermione. She was still hiding behind the pillow.

"On the contrary, Grang—_Hermione_, you _are_ a Malfoy," he said, "for a year. Don't get too attached to the title. I know it's beyond anything you could have dreamed but it's not permanent." She sneered at him. He walked toward the door and opened it.

"Wait!" she yelped. "We didn't…you know…since we got married we didn't have…"

"Sex?" he said with a smirk. "No, Grang—damn it, _Hermione_. We didn't have sex. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

She sighed with relief.

"There are some of your clothes in that closet over there," he nodded toward the door on the far side of the opposite wall. "We'll get ready and go eat breakfast with my mother. Then, we'll get ready for our honeymoon."

After he'd shut the door she stood there staring at it with an amazed expression on her face. _Honeymoon?_ she thought. _Honeymoon? _There was no way she was going on a fake honeymoon, with her fake husband, with her fake (yet very real) wedding ring on her finger.


	2. Cheap bastard

**Wow, I can't believe this fic is doing so well already. I really didn't expect it to. Thanks so much to you reviewers. You rock!**

**LuvzRock16****-** Hermione doesn't have an engagement ring. She just has her wedding band. They eloped and therefore didn't have an engagement. So that's why she doesn't have a diamond, because the diamond would be on her engagement ring and not on her wedding band. The answer to "what does Hermione get of this?" is in this chapter.

**Nosie- **You'll find out how everyone else reacts in later chapters.

**alBBie- **You'll find out how old they are in this chapter.

**Chapter 2: Cheap bastard**

When Hermione had gotten dressed she exited the room and found herself on the landing of a huge staircase; the room below was a huge entrance hall. The floor gleamed from the chandelier that was hanging from the high ceiling. She gasped at how beautiful it was. She assumed she was in Malfoy Manor.

"Magnificent, isn't it?" Draco's voice said.

Hermione jumped and turned to her right. Draco was standing there leaning against the glossy wood banister. Hermione nodded. She snapped out of her admiration for the house and remembered what Draco had said before he left the bedroom.

"What did you mean we're going on a honeymoon?" she asked abruptly.

"Well, you see," he answered, "that's what people usually do when they get married."

"Why can't we just pretend like we went on a honeymoon?" she asked hopefully. "No one would know."

"Actually, my mother would know," he said. "She doesn't know we're not really married, either."

Hermione stared at him. "So…your mum actually thinks we…_love_ each other?"

He nodded. "Unfortunately."

Hermione sighed. "Does that mean we have to…act like we love each other?"

He nodded again. "Unfortunately," he repeated.

"Oh, God," she said.

"Don't enjoy it too much, Grang—Hermione," he said. "It's all fake, remember that."

"Oh, shut up," she snapped.

"Well, Mother is waiting in the dinning room," he said. "We shouldn't keep her waiting." He led the way down the stairs and she reluctantly followed. When they reached the floor of the entrance hall Draco headed for a door off to the left.

When they reached the closed door Draco turned to her. "Give me you hand," he said, holding out his own.

"What? No!" she said, pulling her arm out of reach.

"Come on!" he urged. "You have to…we've got to convince my mother along with everyone else."

Hermione sighed in frustration and reluctantly took his hand. He laced his fingers through hers and she grimaced. He put his other hand on the door. "I should warn you also," he said. "My mother may be a little _cold_ towards you. She's not too pleased with us getting married."

"Oh, there's a shocker," Hermione said sarcastically. "A Malfoy being cold? Who would've thought?"

He sneered at her but didn't reply. Instead he pushed the door open and there sitting at the end of a long table was a beautiful woman with shiny blonde hair that was the exact same color as Draco's. She had her arms crossed across her chest and she was wearing a look of extreme irritation on her face. Draco led the way toward his mother and finally let go of Hermione's hand. She sighed in relief.

Draco sat down and Hermione took the seat beside him and looked at Narcissa. She quickly averted her eyes. Draco saying his mother may be cold towards Hermione was an understatement. In the fraction of a second that Hermione had glanced at her, Narcissa had given Hermione a look of unmistakable loathing.

"How was your night, Draco?" Narcissa asked as she buttered a piece of toast.

"Fine," he answered plainly.

"And you, Harriet?" Narcissa asked sternly without looking up.

Draco cleared his throat. "It's Hermione, Mother," he corrected her.

"I slept fine, thanks," Hermione replied as politely as she could.

"Well, Draco _dear_," Narcissa said, looking at her son. "It's a little difficult for me to know your wife's name when I haven't met her before, given her heritage and the fact that I wasn't even invited to the wedding."

"I told you, Mother," Draco said. "No one was invited."

"Yes, well, your mother of all people should have been," Narcissa replied. Hermione sat silently, not eating anything. She felt awkward and she just wanted to get out of there. "No matter. What's done is done."

"Thank you for understanding, Mother," Draco said dully.

"So where is it you said you two were going on your honeymoon?" Narcissa asked with a clearly fake smile plastered on her face.

"Italy," Draco answered promptly.

"Italy?" Hermione yelped. "We're going to Italy?"

Narcissa raised a finely arched eyebrow. "You didn't know where you were going?"

Draco shot Hermione a second's glance before saying, "Well, it…it was a surprise."

"Ah," Narcissa said, but she still looked skeptical.

Hermione poked her eggs with her fork and took a couple bites. She felt extremely nauseous and didn't think eating would help her from throwing up all over the clean table.

_If I do puke I'm aiming it right at Malfoy_, she thought bitterly.

Draco looked down at his watch. He took a sip of orange juice and got up. "It's time to leave," he said. "Mother, you'll have our luggage sent to the hotel won't you?"

Narcissa nodded silently.

"Come on," Draco said as he stood up. Hermione mimicked him. They left Narcissa sitting at the table alone and exited the dining room. Draco closed the door and turned to Hermione.

"Great job," he said sarcastically.

"What?" she replied defensively. "You should have told me where we were going! I really was surprised."

"I suppose it doesn't matter," he said with a sigh. "Just be more careful; we have to persuade everybody."

"I know, I know," she said.

"Well, come on," Draco said, leading the way to the door opposite the dining room.

They entered a huge living room with a beautiful black leather couch and matching chairs. The hardwood floor was topped with an expensive looking carpet. There were magnificent paintings and knickknacks all around the room.

There was a fireplace just to the right, in front of the couch. Draco took a small silver container from the mantel and opened it. Inside was shimmering Floo Powder. He held it out to her and she took some of it.

"We're staying at the De Marco Hotel," he told her as he pointed his wand to the wood in the fire. It erupted in flames. "You go first."

She threw the Floo Powder into the fire. The flames turned green and she stepped into them. She choked out the name of the hotel and held her breath. She closed her eyes and waited for the uncomfortable spinning feeling to stop. When it did she opened her eyes and stepped out into the shimmering lobby of their hotel.

A second later Draco joined her. The lobby was enormous with a long counter in the back and comfortable looking chairs and couches placed in the middle. There were people bustling around the room. She could tell which ones worked in the hotel because they were wearing burgundy uniforms.

Draco dusted himself off and led the way to the counter.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy!" said one of the wizards behind it. He looked barely older than Hermione and had a cheery smile plastered on his face. "You've finally arrived. And this must be the wife, lovely. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Malfoy." Hermione cringed at the name but smiled and nodded. "My name is Randall and I'll be assisting you. Mr. Malfoy, the honeymoon suite you requested is ready; if you'll follow me I'll show the way."

Draco and Hermione trailed Randall and walked up three flights of stairs and reached the landing. They walked all the way down the hall and reached the end room. The bellboy took a key from his pocked and unlocked the room. Hermione stepped in after him and whispered, "Wow."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" said Randall. He handed the key to Draco and cleared his throat. Draco glanced at him but just entered the room and looked around. Randall began walking toward the door and Hermione heard him murmur, "Cheap bastard."

"Ma—Draco, _honey_?" Hermione said. Draco whipped around with raised eyebrows. "Don't you think you should tip him?"

Randall turned.

Draco glared at Hermione but reached in his pocket and took out two Galleons. Randall took them, gave a small bow, and left them alone.

"Why did you do that?" Draco asked furiously.

"Because you were being cheap," she answered.

"I'll tip when I see it fit to," Draco said.

"Oh, get over it," Hermione retorted. "It's not like you're tight on money."

She began examining the gorgeous suite. To the left there was a living room type area with a couch, coffee table, and two chairs. There was a beautiful wooden wizards' chess game sitting in the middle of the coffee table. Straight ahead were double doors that led to a balcony. And then she saw it. A large king-sized bed.

"What is that?" she asked pointing to it.

"Well, it appears to be a bed," Draco said. "You know, for someone who has a reputation for being extremely smart, you're quite dim."

"I know _what_ it is," she snapped. "But why is there only one bed? I'm not sleeping in the same bed with you."

"We've been through this," Draco sighed as he plopped down on the bed. "We have to convince people that we're really married. Married people sleep in the same bed."

"Well, not _this_ married couple," Hermione said crossing her arms. "At night I'll just transfigure that couch over there into a bed and one of us can sleep on it instead."

"You can't," Draco said.

"What?" Hermione said. "Of course I can. The spell is quit simple. All I've got to--"

"They put blocking spells on everything so you can't change or steal anything that belongs to the hotel," he explained in a bored voice.

Hermione paused. "Well then," she said after a moment. "You will just have to sleep on the couch."

"Oh, I don't think so," he said. "I'm not the one with the problem. If you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me, then _you_ sleep on the couch. But prepare yourself for a fair amount of back pain in the morning."

"Agh!" Hermione exclaimed. "Fine, at least the bed is big."

Draco smirked. "I know it will be difficult but do try and keep your hands off of me, Gr—Hermione."

Hermione glared at him. He ignored her and looked at his watch. "We should get going for our walk in the park soon," he said.

"Walk in the park?" Hermione questioned. "No, no. I'm not leaving this hotel room with you."

"You've got to," Draco said. "We have to be seen together."

She bit her lip. "Fine!"

Draco got up and said, "Good, come on and give me your hand again," he said.

When they stepped out of the door Draco locked it and stuck the key in his pocket. They strolled down to the lobby with their fingers laced together. Hermione tried her hardest to look comfortable but it was very difficult. The only thing she could focus on was Draco's hand.

_Why the hell is his hand so soft?_ Hermione wondered. _That is not normal._

They exited the fancy hotel. There was a light breeze and the sun beamed down on them. They took a short walk to the park that was located near the hotel. There was a lake in the middle of the park and a twisting sidewalk around it. Hermione saw quite a few couples holding hands, talking and laughing, and to her horror kissing.

They walked around on the sidewalk for a while until Draco halted and forced Hermione to stop. She followed his gaze to a dark haired man that was walking toward them carrying a small paper bag.

"Kiss me," Draco whispered.

"What?" Hermione yelped from the corner of her mouth. "No!"

Draco whirled her around and connected their mouths. He slipped his arms around Hermione's waist. She tried to pull away in disgust but Draco had a firm grip on her. She put her hands on Draco's shoulders and pushed him away with all her strength. A quiet smacking sound came from them as he was pushed away. The man had reached them now and was smiling.

"Ah, newly weds," he said with an Italian accent. He grinned at them, revealing pearly white teeth. "Can't keep your hands off each other, I see."

Hermione forced a smile.

"Francisco," Draco said dully. "Meet my wife, Hermione."

He took Hermione's unoccupied hand and kissed it. "So good to meet you," he said. "Though I was quite disappointed to find I wasn't invited to the wedding."

"Yes, well," Draco explained. "Nobody was invited. It was just us and our witnesses."

"Ah, yes well," Francisco said. "I'm good to see you've settled down, young though you are. I would never have thought you'd get married at the mere age of nineteen, Draco. And least of all to…well…someone the family wasn't _familiar _with."

"Neither did I," Draco said with a forced smile. "But that was before I fell for Hermione." He let go of her hand and slipped his arm around her waist.

"Pity I can't stay and chat," said Francisco. "But I've got to go find my own wife before she has a heart attack over these potion ingredients." He held up the paper bag. "I'll see you later. Have a good honeymoon." He passed them and walked in the other direction.

Hermione stomped on in silence until they reached the hotel room again. It was now midday and she hadn't said a word since their run in with Francisco.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked unconcernedly.

"What's wrong with me!" she shrieked. "You kissed me! I can't believe you!"

"Oh, please," Draco said. "It hurt me more than it hurt you. I only did it because that was a family friend."

"I—you know what?" she said angrily. "I'm done. I'm not doing this. I'm not getting anything out of this and it's not worth it!"

"Not getting anything out of it?" Draco repeated. "Don't you remember our agreement?"

"I don't even remember getting married to you!" she said. "What agreement?"

"I told you I'd give you a hundred thousand Galleons if you did this for me," he answered.

Hermione fell back on to the bed and stared at him. "A hun—a hundred _thousand_ Galleons?"

"That's right."

"Um…okay, maybe it is worth it," she said. "But don't you dare kiss me again."

"I can't promise that," Draco said. "There may need to be a few more kisses."

"Fine," she said. "But if your tongue comes anywhere near my mouth I'll bite it off."

"You've got to promise me one thing though," he said.

"What?"

"You can't fall in love with me."

Hermione laughed harshly. "Believe me, that won't be a problem."

**I know the whole "Don't fall in love with me" thing is sort of _A Walk to Remember_-ish but it needed to be put in the fic. Please review.**


	3. I faked it

**I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update but I don't have the Internet at home right now. For that reason, updates will take a while. I'm still working on my stories.**

**Chapter 3: I faked it**

Hermione stood on the balcony as the wind whipped around her. It was now dark outside. She'd spent the rest of the day inside the hotel room trying to avoid Draco at all costs. It wasn't too difficult because he didn't seem to be making a habit of talking to her. They're luggage had arrived sometime while they were on their walk. It had appeared at the foot of their bed and Hermione leapt to the chance and was thankful to find a bunch of her books in the bottom of her trunk. She'd spent the remainder of the day lounging on the couch and reading.

She heard the balcony door open and she turned around. Draco was standing there looking bored. "Dinner's here," he said unenthusiastically.

Hermione sighed. She would really have rather stayed out on the balcony peering out at the gorgeous scenery but her stomach told her she should do otherwise. It gave a groan of hunger and she stepped back inside and saw that a table with two covered meals had appeared. She sat down and Draco sat across from her.

They ate in silence. Hermione felt awkward with the only noises being the clank of silverware on plates. She was thankful when they'd both finished their meals. When they got up from the chairs the table disappeared. Hermione got up and took her pajamas out of her trunk.

She came out of the bathroom to find Draco was standing at the bed only wearing a pair of blue boxers and was preparing to pull down the blankets of the bed.

"You're not wearing that are you?" she asked.

"Yes, I am…hence the fact that I _am _wearing it," he answered. "You know, you have the irritating habit of forcing me to state the extreme obvious. It's getting beyond annoying."

"But…shouldn't you wear something more…?"

"No," he said. "This is what I sleep in. I'm not changing."

"Yes, you are," she demanded.

"Oh, so now we're telling each other what to wear?" he said with a raised eyebrow. "In that case, I want you to wear this." He picked up his wand from the table next to his bed and waved it. From thin air a miniscule black negligee that Hermione could only dub "The Holy Nighty," not because it was sacred but because there was barely any material there.

She looked down at her striped, long-sleeved pajamas and then at the tiny lacy garment in Draco's hand. "I think…what we're wearing is fine," she said. He gave her an I-thought-so look and with a swish of his wand the piece of clothing (if you could call it that) disappeared.

Hermione went to her side of the bed and pulled down the blankets. Once she had climbed in and settled between the cool sheets and turned her back to Draco. It took her a while to clear her mind and drift off to sleep.

It didn't seem like she was asleep only a few minutes when her eyes fluttered open. She looked to her right and saw that during the night she and Draco both seemed to have migrated to the middle of the enormous bed in their sleep. Draco was lying on his stomach. It was just then that she realized that his arm traveled from his body to hers. It was resting limply on her chest.

_Oh dear God,_ she thought. _He's touching my boob. No, no, no, no. Okay, I've just got to move his hand without him waking up and he'll never know._

She bit her lower lip and placed her forefinger and thumb around Draco's slender wrist. She gently tried to move it away but just then Draco gave a rather loud grunt in his sleep. Hermione gave a quiet yelp of surprise and jumped slightly. When she jumped she moved a little to the left and Draco's hand was now lying on her stomach. She held her breath and glanced over at him. He was still snoozing. She decided to just roll over out from under his arm. She counted to three and in one quick, hopeful motion spun quickly over on the bed.

When she did she felt the bed disappear from underneath her and she fell onto the floor with a loud _thump._ The noise awoke Draco. He looked about the room and then noticed Hermione lying on the floor. She didn't move.

"Granger, do you often have a tendency of falling out of bed or is it just my stunning good looks that make you do it?" Draco smirked.

Hermione stood up in a huff and got back into the bed. "One," she said crossly, "I don't usually fall out of bed…and I wouldn't do it if I didn't have someone _groping_ me while I'm asleep. Two, you keep calling me Granger and you're supposed to be getting used to calling me by my first name."

"Groping you?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"The reason I fell out of bed is because your hands don't seem to have any perception of personal space," she snapped.

"Well, sorry," Draco drawled without any emotion or remorse behind his words. "I'm sorry to lead you to think there'd be more after that. I can't control what happens while I sleep. I assure you, if I could _that _wouldn't have happened."

Hermione's eyes fluttered over to the balcony doors. In her mind's eye she caught a glimpse of a helpless looking pale, blonde man in blue boxers tipping over the side and falling to the ground. She shook her head and glared at him.

"Will you _please _quit being so arrogant?" she snarled. "This bed may be huge but it's not big enough for you, me, _and_ your monstrous ego. That being said, please stay on your side of the bed…considering it would be awfully hard to explain to the authorities that the reason my husband was killed was because he decided to feel me up!"

With that she moved as far as she could away from him, being careful she wasn't too close to the edge of the bed. She turned her back to him yet again and closed her eyes. She finally drifted into an irritated sleep.

Hermione awoke to someone who shaking her shoulder vigorously. Her eyes snapped open and she saw Draco standing there. "Wake up," he ordered.

She rubbed her eyes and sat up in an aggravated fashion. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"We're going to have breakfast with Francisco and his wife," Draco replied. "So get up and get ready."

"What?" she said. "No, I don't even know them."

She pounded on her pillow and made to lay back down on it when Draco pulled it from underneath her so that her head landed on the sheet instead. 

"I said get up," he snapped, throwing the pillow onto her legs.

She sat all the way up and stared at him with raised eyebrows. "Oh, is that supposed to settle it then?" she asked with a mock tone. "Just because _Master_ Malfoy demands that I do something then I'm supposed to do it?"

"Well, considering _Master _Malfoy is your husband, yes," he answered unfaltering.

"Oh, I do feel sorry for whoever is dense enough to _really _marry you," she retorted.

He sighed. "Get up, _please_," he said. "You need to be presentable."

"Presentable?" she repeated. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I can't introduce my wife to one of the most beautiful witches in the world when she looks like troll that's been thrown off a cliff."

"A troll!" Hermione yelled, jumping out of bed. "A troll? I ought to curse the hell out of you! Why you little--"

"No, no, _darling_," Draco said. "Domestic violence is not the answer. But beauty regimens are. So, go at least make yourself look half-way decent. I know it will be difficult given what you have to work with."

She stood her ground for a moment. Her fists were clenched and she was ready to not only throw Draco off the balcony but castrate him with something very sharp and rusty beforehand.

But then she remembered the money. She could buy a house with that money. She would no longer have to live in her dumpy little studio apartment. Of course, she was a Healer in training but the extra money she was getting from Draco would get her on her feet _now_ and she wouldn't have to wait until she'd saved up enough.

"Alright," she sighed. She went into the bathroom and shut the door.

An hour later she came back into the bedroom area wearing a simple black dress that showed off her legs. Her hair was piled on top of her head messily. It was held up by about a hundred bobby pins, a little magic, and the grace of God. Draco was now fully dressed and sitting on the bed flipping through a magazine when she cleared her throat to announce her presence.

He looked up and the look on his face gave Hermione deep satisfaction. His features held the three A's all women search for when they've spent more energy and time than they'd normally care for on their appearance: admiration, approval, and a hint of arousal. She took a moment to savor his expression as his eyes went from her slinky black shoes, up to her legs, past her hips and chest, and rested on her face. She felt satisfaction at his reaction. Even if the reaction _was_ coming from Draco Malfoy, it felt nice to be appreciated.

His face then switched back to his normal bored one and said, "That'll do, I suppose." Hermione paid no mind because she knew she'd accomplished above average results with her efforts. Draco tossed the magazine on the bed and said, "Let's go."

They walked downstairs and exited the hotel. Draco grabbed Hermione's hand and held it as they walked down the street. She sighed in irritation but didn't resist. Then a thought dawned on her. "Who is the most beautiful witch in the world?" she questioned.

"What?" he asked as he led the way and turned a corner.

"You said you had to introduce me to the most beautiful witch in the world," she elaborated curiously. "Who?"

"I said _one _of the most beautiful," he corrected. "And she's Lena De Marco, Francisco's wife."

"De Marco?" she repeated. "But that's--"

"That's right," he interrupted. "They own the hotel we're staying in."

"Oh."

After a moment's silence Hermione decided it was time to ask the questions that were bugging her.

"I'm still going to be able to do my Healer training, aren't I?" she asked.

"Yes, but that will resume after our honeymoon is over," he answered.

"And what about my family?" she said. "Will I be able to contact them? Also, I want to see Harry and Ron."

"You'll be able to see your family," he said. "And I suppose you can see Potter and Weasley," he held a nasty look of dislike. "I can't exactly stop you. We'll deal with all this when we get back home."

They walked across the street and then turned another corner where they found themselves in front of a beautiful villa. Hermione gasped at the stunning building with admiration. Draco pulled her away from her awing of the house and they entered. The inside was even more gorgeous than the outside. It was quite similar to Malfoy Manor in a price-range sense.

"Is it alright for us to walk in?" she asked. "Shouldn't we knock?"

"I told you they're old friends," he answered. "I'm like family. Come on."

He ushered her into a room that was straight ahead which turned out to be the dining room. The man she had met on their walk was sitting at the far end of the table reading a newspaper. He looked up when they entered and smiled.

"Oh, good," he said with his accent. "You're here. We've decided to eat out on the patio since it's such a nice day. Lena'll be pleased to see you, Draco. It's been ages."

They exited the dining room to a patio that had a table set up for four. The sun beamed down warmly on them. Hermione took her seat next to Draco. Francisco smiled and said, "I'll go fetch Lena, shall I?" he said and he went to do so.

Hermione and Draco sat in silence while they waited. Hermione examined her shoes and was relieved when Francisco returned to break the quiet. With him was truly the most beautiful woman Hermione had ever seen. She had velvety looking black hair that shone brightly in the sunlight and tanned skin. Her features were soft and delicate and she had almond-shaped dark eyes with long lashes. She was slightly shorter than Hermione and she was wearing a blue sundress that clung to her slender frame. Though her face held wisdom that proved she was about the same age as Francisco, she didn't look very much older than Hermione.

Draco rose and Hermione followed. He kissed Lena on the cheek. When Draco had finished greeting her, Lena turned to Hermione and smiled widely.

"And you must be Draco's bride!" she said with an accent slightly stronger than Francisco's. To Hermione's surprise, Lena pulled her into a tight hug. When she pulled away she took Hermione's hands and held them out. "Let me get a look at you! Oh, Draco darling, she's lovely. I'm just so glad our little Draco has found his match. We were shocked when Narcissa told us he'd gotten married. We'd been wondering because he hadn't had a steady girlfriend since that dreadful Pansy girl. You're much lovelier than she was though. Let me tell you. And--"

"Now, Aunt Lena," Draco interrupted hastily as he sat down again. "I'm sure Hermione doesn't want to hear about my past relationships."

"Oh, no, Draco _dear_," Hermione contradicted as she took her seat yet again. "I'd just _love _to hear about your little girlfriends before me."

He glared at her. She smiled.

"Well, when he was six years old he had the cutest little crush on my daughter's friend, who is seven years older than him and this one time she was babysitting him and he looked up her skirt!" Lena said. Hermione grinned at Draco who was slightly pink in the face. "Oh! And apparently he tended to have dreams about her too because several times, when he was a bit older, I went to wake him up when he'd spent the night with us and he'd have an erec--"

"Oh good the food's here!" Draco cut in as a huge platter full of food came toward them. Hermione, who had her hand clasped firmly on her mouth trying to suppress the laughter that was bursting to escape her mouth, looked down to see a small house-elf holding the platter up with both hands. Hermione gave a small gasp.

"You have a house-elf?" she asked firmly, the laughter completely gone.

"Yes," Francisco said, speaking for the first time in a long while. "That's Teensy. Teensy, this is Hermione Malfoy, Draco's wife."

"Teensy is pleased to meet you, Mrs. Malfoy," Teensy said politely as she placed the platter on the table. She bowed low before Hermione.

Hermione cringed again at the name but ignored it. "Oh, please don't bow, Teensy," she said urgently. "There's no need. You are my equal."

Teensy's eyes darted back and forth and she looked extremely uncomfortable. "But…Mrs. Malfoy, Teensy is a house-elf and shall treat you with respect. Teensy enjoys serving you."

Hermione frowned at the elf and opened her mouth to say something else but Draco grabbed her hand and squeezed it rather tightly. She looked up and noticed everyone was staring at her. "Sorry…" she said reluctantly because she felt no remorse at all. "I…have certain views on house-elves."

"Oh, that's quite alright," said Francisco with a smile. "It's good to have strong opinions. Teensy, thank you very much for bringing breakfast. You may go."

"You is welcome, Master," Teensy said with another deep bow. She turned and trotted away from them back inside the house.

They ate breakfast and chatted. Hermione found she rather liked the De Marcos. This shocked her because she never thought she'd possibly like anyone who was a close family friend of Draco Malfoy.

They ended up spending the day with them. They took a stroll through Lena's beautiful garden which grew everything from powerful magical herbs to ordinary vegetables. They lounged around in the study and played chess. Before they new it the day had dwindled away and night was creeping upon them. When it started getting rather late Draco said that he and Hermione should make their way back to the hotel.

"Nonsense!" Francisco said. "You've spent the entire day with us. You might as well stay the night. You can go back to the hotel in the morning."

Draco glanced at Hermione. He obviously wasn't too enthusiastic about the idea and Hermione felt the same. It wasn't because she didn't want to be around the De Marcos; it was that she'd have to act more like Draco's wife than she would have in the privacy of their hotel room. She hoped he'd find a suitable excuse for them to not stay but to her disappointment he nodded and allowed Francisco to lead them up to a guestroom.

The room was huge with a gigantic bed leaning against the left side wall. Their pajamas and extra set of clothes had appeared at the end of the bed. Francisco ushered them in and said, "Well, I'll leave you two alone. I bet you've been dying to have some privacy all day. I'll leave you to it. We'll be next door if you need anything." He gave them a suggestive wink and left them while shutting the door.

Draco didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then he said, "We're going to have to pretend to have sex."

That sentence had not been expected.

"What?" Hermione exclaimed.

"We're going to have to pretend to have sex," Draco repeated simply. "They expect us to."

"What!" she said again. "That's perverted!"

"It'd be very convincing…" he mused.

"Let's just say that we put a Silencing Charm on the room, then!" she suggested.

"It'd be better if they heard noises," he said.

Hermione stared at him. "No."

"Come _on_," he urged.

"No."

"Please," he insisted. "It's not a big deal."

"You are peer pressuring me into having fake sex with you, Draco Malfoy, and I do not appreciate it one bit," she said as she sat on the bed indignantly.

"Look, I need them to believe we're really married," he said quietly. "If they believe it, then it will be ten times easier to get my mother's suspicions out of the way because she'll listen to Francisco and Lena."

Hermione thought for a moment. "Fine," she sighed. Hermione changed into her pajamas in the walk-in closet and when she came out Draco was wearing boxers as usual. They sat down on the edge of the bed.

Silence.

"So how…do you want to…you know…?" she stammered, blushing slightly.

"Uh…well, I guess the most we can do is…make noises," he answered. It seemed that the very thought of this sentence caused Draco terrible pain.

"Okay," she said. She took a shot at it and began to bob up and down on the bed. Just as she thought it would, the mattress squeaked loudly with the pressure. She began doing it faster and more roughly.

Draco reluctantly joined her.

"Say something," he instructed.

Hermione glared at him. This was not the most comfortable of situations. Nor was it the easiest time to think of things one would say while in the throws of passion.

She turned even a deeper shade of pink and yelped, "Draco! Oh, Draco! Oh, yes!"

Draco looked at her smirking. She gave him a shut-up-or-die look. He continued bouncing without saying anything.

"Oh, God, Draco!" Hermione screamed. She let out a fake moan as she kept bouncing.

Draco was now laughing silently. Hermione stared agitatedly at him.

Then she got an idea that would put Draco in his place.

"No…not there," she said more loudly than ever while still bobbing up and down. "Draco! No! To the right! No…harder! Not like that! _Ow_! Oh, just let me do it!"

It was Hermione's turn to laugh. The look on Draco's face was priceless.

After a few more minutes Hermione decided it was time for them to stop so she stopped bouncing and let out a loud, long moan. She was still completely embarrassed but she knew she should at least try.

She lay down on her side of the bed and closed her eyes. Draco turned off the light and she felt him lie down beside her.

"Sounded like that was some orgasm," Draco said into the darkness and from the sound of his voice she knew he was smirking.

"Don't get to cocky," she retorted. "I faked it."

**Please review.**


	4. Daddy's not wearing any pants!

**Chapter 4: Daddy's not wearing any pants!**

Hermione exited the bathroom wearing her pajamas. They were now back in the hotel room and it was the last night of their honeymoon. Apparently Draco thought the De Marcos were convinced enough. Hermione had to agree, considering Francisco kept grinning at them as though he knew something. She assumed their fake love-making had done the trick.

She noticed that their dinner table had disappeared while she'd been getting ready for bed. A small cart with a big bowl of delicious looking chocolate-covered strawberries and a bottle of champagne had replaced it.

She glanced from the cart to Draco and back again. Draco seemed uninterested and walked over to the bed. Hermione thought for a moment and said, "After the day I've had I _need_ this."

Hermione had expected the last day of her honeymoon to be relaxing. Even if it was a phony honeymoon, it was still a vacation of sorts. But while Draco went out to buy things for his mother and did some other business, she had spent the day packing and then she got into a big argument with the maid because she refused to let the maid clean.

She pulled the cart over to the edge of the bed where she sat cross legged and picked up a strawberry. She bit into it and moaned. "Oh my God," she sighed. She turned around to Draco and swallowed. "Are you sure you don't want some?" she asked. "They're really good."

"No," he answered simply.

"Oh, come on!" she persisted. "They're so delicious. How can you pass this up? Just try one!"

She popped the rest of her strawberry in her mouth and picked up another. Scooting back on the bed, she held it out to Draco. He sighed and said, "I don't want one, really."

"Just _try_ it," she insisted. "Quit being so stubborn."

"Fine!" he said exasperated. He took the strawberry from her and bit into it.

"Amazing, isn't it?" she said, taking another for herself.

Draco didn't answer but finished the rest that remained in his hand. He was now eyeing the bucket. Hermione smiled. She got off the bed, picked up the bucket and the champagne bottle and took it back to the bed. She sat beside Draco and put the container between them.

Hermione uncorked the champagne and took a sip right from the bottle.

"Oh, Granger, at least be civilized," Draco said with a look of revulsion. "There are glasses right over there!" He pointed a pale finger toward the abandoned cart.

"Oh, please," she replied, ignoring him and taking another swallow from the bottle. "We've now kissed. I don't think us drinking after one another will make much of a difference." She held the bottle out for him. He didn't take it right away. "Despite what your prejudice pureblood mind might think, I don't have Muggle-born cooties."

He hesitated but then grabbed the bottle. He took a swig of the champagne. "This is the most undignified thing…" he murmured. "Champagne is not meant to be drunk like this."

"Oh, get over it, prissy boy," Hermione said as she took another strawberry. Draco glared at her but took another long drink from the bottle.

A little while later the almost empty bottle sat on the bedside table and only a few strawberries remained in the abandoned silver bucket that sat on the cart, while the married couple lay peacefully asleep beside each other. The calm and serene expressions on their faces gave the illusion that they were really together. Of course, if you happened to know each of them you'd know the effect was purely the work of the champagne.

The next morning Hermione awoke to the chirp of a bird that sat on the window sill. She stretched and smiled at it. Next to her, Draco groped around the bedside table for his wand. When he finally found it he pointed it in the direction of the bird without opening his eyes and mumbled, "Silencio," into his pillow. The bird's beak opened and closed frantically but no sound came out. Hermione watched it flutter away confusedly.

"Do you have to ruin everything?" she asked Draco irritably. "What did that bird do to you?"

"It woke me up," Draco muttered, his eyes remaining persistently closed.

"It doesn't matter," Hermione said, getting up from the warm bed. "You have to get up anyway. It's almost eleven and I have to tell my parents that their only child has gotten married without inviting them or even informing them of the wedding. Though, in my defense, I wasn't informed of said wedding either."

"Why do you have to tell her today?" Draco asked, finally sitting up with his eyes squinting from the blazing sunlight that was illuminating the room. "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"No," Hermione answered calmly as she chose some clothes to change into. "It cannot. They haven't seen or heard from me in two weeks. If I don't go see them as soon as possible my mother's liable to take out a missing person's report. So get up."

Draco grunted irately, but reluctantly climbed out of bed as Hermione went to the bathroom. A half an hour later they were in the hotel lobby checking out. The bellboy carrying their luggage was the same one who had ushered them to their room the night they arrived.

Hermione was relieved when they finally entered Malfoy Manor. Though it was far from a home to her, it was the closest thing she had right now. This thought triggered a realization for her.

"Draco," she said as they entered the bedroom they'd be sharing. It was the same bedroom that she'd woken up and found herself married to a person she could barely stand. "What's going to happen to my apartment?"

"It's being temporarily rented out right now," Draco replied. "You'll have it back in a year when we get divorced. I've made all the arrangements. As you can see," he waved his hand lazily around the room, "I've had movers bring all your things here."

Hermione looked about the room. It was true. Scattered among the very expensive belongings of Draco's there were all of Hermione's possessions. But then she stopped. She noticed that her most important treasure was not there.

"Where's Crookshanks?" she asked quickly, turning toward Draco who had plopped down on their bed.

"Where's what?" he asked unconcernedly.

"Crookshanks," she repeated. "My cat."

"Oh," Draco said. "I had him sent to that Weasley girl."

"What!" Hermione exclaimed. "No. I want him with me." She was relieved that Draco had at least sent Crookshanks to someone she trusted, but she didn't think she could bear this whole ordeal without her faithful pet.

"No," Draco said simply. "I don't like cats."

"I don't care," she said firmly.

"I said no," he persisted.

"And I said I don't care," she replied determinedly.

They stared at each other as though they were in the Wild West and about to have a showdown. Draco was the first to blink. "Fine," he muttered defeated.

"Good," Hermione said happily.

"But he's not sleeping in the bed with us," Draco demanded.

_We'll see about that,_ Hermione thought to herself. "I'll get him when I go to see Harry and Ron tomorrow," she said. She looked in the full-length mirror that hung on the wall and turned to him. "Come on. Let's go."

"Go?" he asked. "Where?"

"To see my mum and dad," she said as though it was obvious. "That's why I woke you up."

"Why do I have to go?" he asked indignantly.

She stared at him unbelievingly. She put her hands on her hips and said, "Do you really think my mother is going to be okay with me telling her that I got married without informing her and without even bringing my husband to at least meet her?"

Draco looked at her for a moment. "I suppose not. But…"

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"I've never been in a Muggle home before," he said.

She stared at him dumbfounded. "Draco, are you really that ignorant? There's barely any difference between Muggles and wizards. They just do everything without magic. It's not like you're going to contract a disease if you're in a Muggle house."

Draco didn't say anything.

"We can go by Floo," Hermione said. "I had the Ministry hook up my parents' fireplace to the Floo Network."

They went to the fireplace and in turn threw some Floo powder into it, stepped into the green flames, and disappeared. Hermione appeared in her parents' living room fireplace and heard a shriek of fright. When she stepped from the hearth she saw her mother clutching her chest and holding a yellow feather duster.

"Do you _have _to do that?" Mrs. Granger squealed in a high-pitched voice.

There was a commotion behind Hermione as Draco appeared just where she had. Her mother screamed again. She took a few steps to her left and plopped down on a green recliner, her arms were draped over the sides of the chair and the duster hung limply from her right hand.

"Mum, I would think you'd be used to that by now," Hermione said with a sympathetic voice.

"Yeah, I would too but that's not the way it is," Mrs. Granger murmured. "I swear one of these days you're going to give me a heart attack. Can't you just do that popping thing and appear at the door instead of in front of me?" She shifted in her seat tiredly and her gaze fell on Draco. "Who's this?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "Mum…now don't be mad…but this is my husband, Draco."

Her mother stared at her for a moment without blinking. She seemed confused as though she's misunderstood what Hermione had said. "Your what?" she asked.

"My husband," Hermione repeated. "We eloped two weeks ago and we just got back from our honeymoon."

Again, her mother stared at her. Then she licked her lips and blinked several times before inhaling deeply and saying, "Wha…well, um…nice to meet you Draco." She pushed herself from the recliner and held out her hand. Draco took it. Hermione couldn't ignore the upset expression that lingered on her face. She knew it wasn't exactly her fault, but she couldn't help but feel guilty.

She wished with all her might that she could tell her mother the truth. That she could tell her that she really wasn't married _married_ to Draco, but staying married to him so he could clear his name and so she could have money to start out her real life with. But she knew there was no way she could do that.

"Draco," Hermione said smiling and holding his arm as a woman would hold her loved one's. "This is my mum, Jane."

Draco smiled politely, though he looked like he was in immense pain. There was an awkward silence. Hermione broke it by clearing her throat. "So, why don't we have some tea?"

"That's a good idea," Mrs. Granger said airily. She put the duster on the coffee table and left for the kitchen. Hermione and Draco sat down on the couch uncomfortably. The only sound to be heard was the clinking of dishes in the kitchen.

"Well, that went well," Draco said.

Hermione turned to him. "Well?" she snapped in a whisper. "What the hell do you mean? She's heartbroken! You made me hurt my mother with our fake union! And all this artificial wedded bliss is making me nauseous."

Draco sighed in frustration. They heard a door shut somewhere in the house and Hermione's father entered wearing nothing but a pair of checkered boxer shorts. His skinny frame was very pale and his brown hair was disheveled.

"Oh, no," Hermione groaned as she buried her face in her hands. Draco seemed to be focusing all the attention and energy in his body toward the family photograph hanging on the wall.

"Jane!" her father yelled. "Where's my blue suit? I can't find it." He noticed Hermione and Draco just then and turned to them. "Oh, hello," he said brightly. "I didn't know you were here, Sweet Pea."

"Obviously," Hermione muttered. "Hi, Daddy."

Mrs. Granger poked her head into the room and said with quite a bit of hostility, "I don't know where your suit is, Jason. Hermione, tell your father who your _friend_ is."

"I think Daddy should get some clothes on first," Hermione suggested, blushing slightly.

"Oh, don't be silly, Hermione!" Mr. Granger grinned. "It's not as if the queen is visiting. So, who's this young man?"

Hermione and Draco stood up. "Daddy," Hermione said hesitantly. "This is Draco Malfoy. He's my husband. We eloped."

Hermione paused. She was waiting for her father to erupt in anger and hurt. Though he was a very kind-hearted man with a low temper, but when his emotions got the best of him he could get livid. He wasn't a violent man; he only ever yelled. But the explosion of rage didn't come. Instead her father beamed.

"Your husband?" he said. "Oh, Sweet Pea, that's wonderful." He grasped Draco's hand and shook it exuberantly. "And he's got such nice teeth." He was now staring intently at Draco's mouth.

"Daddy!" Hermione yelped as Draco glanced at her strangely. "Please don't do that!" She pulled Draco from Mr. Granger's grip and guided him to sit down again.

"Well, Hermione," Mr. Granger said. "I am a dentist."

"Yes," Hermione replied. "But so is Mum, and she doesn't go around commenting on people's teeth."

As if on cue Hermione's mother had re-entered the room carrying a tea tray. She looked irate and seemed to be shaking with her anger because the tea set was clattering noisily against the tray. She almost threw it down on the table and then turned to her husband with her hands on her hips. Her resemblance to Hermione was astonishing.

"I just got off the phone with your Aunt Carol," she told Hermione. "And she can't believe you'd do this to Laurie either. Have a biscuit, Draco."

"Mum!" Hermione whaled. "I didn't do this _to _Laurie."

"It doesn't matter if you did it intentionally or not," her mother snapped. "It was very inconsiderate of you to get married right before your cousin's wedding. How could you? When you show up at that wedding…"

"Who said I was even going?" Hermione asked.

Hermione growled in desperation. She shot a look at Draco that clearly held all the signs of a plea for help. He obviously had no clue what to say so he took a biscuit.

"Oh, Jane, let it go," Mr. Granger broke in.

"So," she snapped. "You think this is a good thing, do you?"

Hermione's father had sat down on the recliner and was staring non-perplexedly at his wife. "Yes, I do," he answered. "I don't understand why you're so upset and frankly, I think it's extremely cold-hearted of you to say these things in front of Hermione and her husband."

"Husband!" Mrs. Granger shrieked, throwing up her hands. "That's the entire point, Jason! She's too young to be married. She's only nineteen years old! She hasn't even got a proper job yet. And the first time we meet this boy is _after _they get married? Jason, this isn't right. I've waited for the day I could see my little girl get married and now I won't be able to!"

Hermione felt a pang of guilt, but she braced herself and said, "I think we should talk about this another time."

"Why?" Mrs. Granger asked. "Why not now? You seem to think it's perfectly fine to go play house with some boy…I think that's something we need to discuss now!"

"One, we're not playing house," Hermione said. "And two, Daddy's not wearing any pants!"

"That's never stopped us before!" Mrs. Granger retorted.

"And three," Hermione continued, ignoring her mother, "you're in no state to handle this sort of thing right now."

"Oh, I'm in no state to handle this, am I?"

"I agree, Jane," Mr. Granger stated.

"Oh, don't you start!" Mrs. Granger turned on her husband and pointed her finger furiously at him. She began ranting at him heatedly. Hermione pulled on Draco's sleeve, whispered in his ear, and they both crept out the door.

When they reached the sidewalk they both Disapparated.

**I know this chapter isn't as funny as the others seem to be (I honestly had no idea ya'll would like it so much). But it had to be in the story. Please review. **

**One person asked how old Draco and Hermione are and wanted to know what happened with Voldemort. I stated in a previous chapter that Draco is nineteen and in this chapter I mentioned that Hermione is nineteen too. Hermione is a few months older than Draco. Her birthday is September 19th but I'm not sure what Draco's is. It's around June right now in the fic so I'm going to say Draco's birthday is sometime in April. As for what happened it's not necessarily important. That's not what the story's about. But so you know, Draco became good (of course, because then I would have a hard time writing this) but everyone already knew he was a Death Eater so he had a very difficult time convincing people he wasn't on the dark side anymore. He did help the war against Voldemort but a lot of people seem to have trouble trusting him. Hence, this whole story.**

**Coming up in the fic: an actual wedding, Hermione telling Harry and Ron that she's married to Draco, and some…interaction between Draco and Hermione. **


	5. DracoFuckingMalfoy?

**Thank you to those of you who told me that Draco's birthday is June 5th. For that reason I'm going to say that the setting of the story is now in the middle of July, not June.**

**Karen- Thank you for the review and I'm glad you like it. It was meant to be understood that Draco let St. Mungo's know that she was on her honeymoon. He didn't tell any of hermione's friends or family though. I'm sorry that wasn't clear.**

**Chapter 5: Draco-Fucking-Malfoy?**

It had been two days since the fiasco of Hermione telling her parents she was married. She hadn't heard from either of them since then. Ever since they arrived back at Malfoy Manor, Hermione spent most of her time avoiding Narcissa and locking herself in her room. She couldn't wait for her Healer training to start again, which it wouldn't for a couple more days. Unfortunately, St. Mungo's decided to give her "plenty of time with her new husband" before she came back to work.

Hermione paced back and forth in the bedroom she shared with Draco. She had developed the habit of twisting her wedding ring around and around her finger and was doing it at that moment. She could feel her insides squirming and she had the feeling she was going to throw up.

Draco entered and immediately threw out his arm so he caught Hermione in mid-pace.

"You pace too much," he stated. "Stop it."

"I can't help it," she said. "I'm really nervous."

"Why…? Damn it," Draco said. "I forgot we're telling Potter and Weasley today."

"Oh, no," she said. "_We're_ not telling them. I have to do this one alone." She began laughing anxiously. "Can you imagine if you walked in there with me? They'd castrate you on the spot. No, I have to tell _them_ by myself."

"Fine by me," he said without hesitation.

"Oh, God," she said, raising her hands to her face. "And Laurie's wedding is tomorrow and we have to get her a stupid gift and I have to pretend to be a Muggle. We _both_ have to pretend to be Muggles. I wish we could just not go but if we don't I'll never live it down. Ugh…"

"You can go to that alone too," Draco said.

"Oh, no I can't," Hermione snapped. "By now my mother and aunt have spread the news that we're married to every single person in my family. There's no way I can go without you."

"Then don't go," he said.

"I have to," she said. "My mother would badger the hell out of me if I didn't bring my _husband _for everyone to meet. Oh…no…" Hermione suddenly looked horrified. She blinked several times in a row and then stammered, "Husband…My…my parents know I'm not a virgin."

Draco snorted, "What?"

"They know I'm not a virgin," she repeated, more to herself than to Draco.

"Wait, you're not a virgin?" he asked surprised.

She seemed to just realize Draco was still in the room. "Uh…that's none of your business. The point is even though we haven't had sex, they assume we have. They didn't know I wasn't a virgin, but now they do!"

"So you're really not a virgin?" Draco asked with a smirk. "Who did you sleep with?"

"I said that's none of your business," she said sternly, glaring at him.

"Ew, was it Weasley?" he asked with a grimace.

Hermione's eyes grew wide. "I'm not telling you my personal business." She glanced at the clock. "I've got to go."

"Ugh, it was Weasley!" he said with a laugh. "Granger, how could you sink so low?"

"It's none of your business," she recited yet again.

"I mean," he said with a twisted smile, "I knew you two had gone out and broken up a few months ago but it never crossed my mind that you'd had sex with him."

"Just…wait a minute," she paused. "How did you know we'd dated and broke up?"

"I did my research for my bride," he answered. "It would seem a bit odd if my new wife had had another boyfriend and all of the sudden decided to marry me, now wouldn't it?"

"Goodbye," she snapped abruptly.

She left the room to go to the fireplace. When she entered the bedroom of Ron's apartment, Ron ran toward her. "Where have been?" he shouted.

"Calm down!" she yelped as he took her shoulders and shook her slightly.

"We've been going crazy," Ron said, lowering his voice. "Why didn't you tell us you were leaving for two weeks without a word?"

"Well, it's kind of hard to leave without a word if I leave a word," she replied.

"You know what I mean."

"Well," she began. "That's why I've come to talk to you really." She took a deep breath with her eyes closed. When she opened them again Ron was staring at her worriedly. This was way harder than she had thought it would be. But she had to do it. Ron was her best friend. Of course, he was also her ex-boyfriend who she still had feelings for. But she forced herself to believe those were just lingering feelings that would eventually go away. She could do this. He'd be fine.

…

Who was she kidding? It was Ron. Ron wouldn't be fine. He'd be totally un-fine. He'd be as far away from fine as you could possibly get without causing severe mental damage.

But she had to tell him.

"The reason I was away was because…I was on my honeymoon," she said slowly. Ron's face fell. The expression of hurt and anger in Ron's features caused her so much pain that she had to look down at her feet.

"Honeymoon?" Ron repeated.

"Yes."

"You…got married?" He seemed to be having difficulty getting his words out.

"Yes, I did," she said. "I can't really explain much about it. I wish I could but I can't."

"Oh, well," he said, sitting down on his bed. "What's there to explain really?"

"Ron…"

"Who?" he interrupted. "Who did you marry? Do I know him?"

"Well, yes," she answered.

"Who is it?"

She could now see the anger overriding the sadness.

"You better sit down for this," she warned. He sat on the edge of his bed. "It's…Draco Malfoy."

That was when the volcano that was Ron's head seemed to explode. He turned extremely red in the face, jumped up, and stared angrily at her.

"Malfoy?" he yelled jumping up from his bed. "Draco-Fucking-Malfoy? How could you? What in the hell could have possessed you to do something as stupid as that! Why? Wha-who-why?"

"Ron, calm down," she said, trying to push him back down. "I told you I can't explain everything. I really do wish I could but I just can't. You just have to trust me that this is all going to be okay. I promise."

"Okay!" he yelled. "It's not going to be okay, Hermione! You married our arch nemesis!"

"Arch nemesis?" she repeated, trying not to laugh. "Ron, we don't live in a comic book."

"You know what I mean," he snapped again.

"Look, he's not really the person he used to be," she said. "And you and I both know he helped us against Voldemort."

"Don't say the name! And that doesn't change anything," he said. But she was relieved to see he was at least calming down a little. "So, how are you going to tell Harry?" he asked bitterly after a moment.

"I don't know," she sighed.

"I don't think he'll take it as well as I am," Ron said.

Hermione stared at him. "As sad as it is to say, you're probably right. When do you think he'll--"

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"That'd be him," Ron said, walking towards the door.

"Do you think he'll--"

"Spontaneously combust?" Ron interrupted. "Yes."

An hour later, Harry was sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, angrily staring at the wall while Hermione was trying not to cry, spinning her wedding ring around her finger, and pacing. They'd gotten into a huge argument about how she had completely betrayed them. In the end she was able to convince him that she had her reasons and it'd all be okay. But he wasn't any happier about the situation.

A little while later Hermione entered the living room of Malfoy Manor where Draco was throwing darts at a beautiful expensive-looking dartboard.

"Don't you do anything productive?" she asked, setting a box on the table. Watching a indigo-colored dart fly from Draco's hand and into the outer ring of the board.

Draco turned. "Yes," he said. "But I don't have a job right now. Not that I really need one. But, as soon as my name is cleared completely, it will be much easier to get one. What the hell is that?" He was eyeing the picture on the box.

"It's a blender," she answered. "It's our wedding gift to Laurie."

"What's a blender?" he asked. "What does it blend?"

"It's a Muggle kitchen device," she replied. "It's used to blend food together. Most people use it to makes smoothies and stuff."

"Right," he said, throwing a scarlet-colored dart. This one actual landed in the wall above the board.

"You suck," Hermione said with a laugh.

"Oh?" he snapped. "Think you can do it better?"

"Yes," she said. She took a blue dart, positioned herself, and threw it. It landed almost perfectly in the center. Draco stared at her. "It's all in the wrist."

Draco pointed his wand at the darts and they came zooming back to him.

"Now, we need to go over the rules for Muggle behavior," Hermione said. "You can bring your wand in case you need it on the way there and on the way back. But you have to keep it hidden. Very few of my family members know I'm a witch, so no talk of anything to do with our world. And don't call anyone a Muggle."

"Fine, fine," he said lazily.

"Also, we have to act like we're married," she said, looking slightly disgusted. "Which means we'll have to hold hands and kiss and stuff."

"Ah," said Draco. "Do you think we should practice kissing?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well," he stared, "when we kiss we don't exactly look like it's the most comfortable thing in the world for us to do."

She eyed him suspiciously. "I suppose you're right," she said.

He moved toward her. She suddenly felt weird and awkward. Draco put his arms around her waist. Hermione slowly and uncomfortably wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned in. She didn't know whether or not to close her eyes so she waited for him to. When his eyes fluttered closed she snapped hers shut. After a moment, she felt Draco press his lips to hers.

At first the kiss was strange, like they were rehearsing for a love scene in a high school play. But then Draco pulled her closer and traced the outline of her lips with his tongue. She reluctantly opened her mouth.

He pressed her so hard against his body that she thought she might break in two. He massaged her tongue with his own and soon Hermione forgot who she was kissing. She began to really kiss him back. She kept her eyes shut tight without opening them once. Then, suddenly, the kissing stopped.

Draco pulled away from her. His grey eyes were foggy and she knew her brown ones had to look the same.

**Finally an update! Please review! **


	6. Oh, quit being a baby and grab my ass!

**Thanks so much to all my reviewers. I can't believe I already have over 300 reviews for this story. **

**Hermione-Leia Skywalker-Potter- **Ron and Harry don't know the reason that Hermione is with Malfoy. They are suspicious though. There will be more on them later in the story. Sorry for the confusing.

**TheGreenDragon- **Thank you so much for that sweet review. Though, I don't think my story is perfect (and I do make some typos here and there) I'm glad you like it.

**CHICKENS of DOOM-** Ha ha...your review made me laugh. I love "The O.C." I also love to make fun of it...You've inspired me to write an O.C. parody.

**Chapter 6: Oh, quit being a baby and grab my ass!**

"Why aren't you ready yet?" Hermione snapped at Draco. She was standing in the doorway of their bedroom ringing her hands together. "We can't be late for this wedding."

Draco was standing in his boxers with his hair wet. "I just got out of the shower," he answered, annoyed. "Give me a minute."

Hermione tapped her foot with impatience and twisted her wedding ring around her finger as Draco got dressed. Crookshanks sauntered into the room and casually hopped up onto the bed. Draco stared at the cat.

"Where the hell did she come from?" Draco asked, pulling on his dress shirt and eyeing the feline with distain.

"It's a _he_, and I told you I was going to get him when I went to see Harry and Ron," Hermione said. "He's been here all this time. How can you have just noticed him?"

"I don't know," Draco answered, pulling on his black dress pants. He walked over to the bed and shooed Crookshanks off of it. "I don't want him on the furniture though."

Hermione rolled her eyes. When Draco finished getting ready they walked outside where there a slight breeze whipped around them. It was already dark out and grey clouds loomed around the moon threatening rain.

"Okay," Hermione said, getting a better grip on the wrapped blender. "We're going to Apparate to the Leaky Cauldron and then take a cab to the church where the wedding will be held. God, I hope there's wine or champagne…or vodka."

"You really think you'll need to be drunk to handle this?" Draco asked.

"You've obviously never met my cousin," she said.

When they reached the church they routinely grabbed each others' hand. Hermione dropped the blender off on the gift table and entered the church taking a deep breath. They weren't late but they appeared to be the last to arrive so they sat down in one of the few empty spaces in the back.

"Ah, so that's the infamous Timothy," Hermione whispered, craning her neck to see at the front of the church.

"Who?" Draco whispered back.

"Timothy," Hermione said, nodding her head forward. "The groom."

"You've never met him?" Draco asked.

"No," Hermione said. "Laurie and I aren't the closest of cousins. My mother told me he was cute! He's about as cute as Snape."

Draco said nothing. He just sat there looking uncomfortable, holding Hermione's hand uneasily. Soon, piano music began to play. Everyone stood up, Hermione and Draco followed suit and looked expectantly at the end of the aisle.

Three bridesmaids dressed in sleeveless peach dresses uniformly marched forward. After the last bridesmaid got to the second to last pew, Laurie stepped out. She had on a huge formal wedding gown and was marching arm-in-arm with her father. Hermione had to use a tremendous amount of self-control not to sneer at her cousin with distain.

"Damn, your cousin is pretty…for a Muggle." Draco whispered. Hermione elbowed him in the ribs roughly. A lot more roughly than Draco thought was necessary.

Hermione watched the wedding impatiently. She wished she could just leave after the ceremony but she knew that was out of the question.

The reception was to be held at a recreation center down the street. Since Hermione and Draco had taken a cab, and Hermione really didn't want to ride with one of her relatives, she and Draco walked.

As they strolled lazily down the sidewalk, hand in hand, a light drizzle began to fall on them as car after car of people passed them. When they were halfway to the center, it began to rain pretty hard. Hermione lifted her arms over her head. Draco pulled his wand out.

"Draco!" she shrieked. "Put that away!"

"Come on!" he urged. "All I have to do is put a simple drying spell on us and then block the water with--"

"No!" Hermione shouted, pushing the wand back in his jacket. "Someone might see you! I told you we have to act like Muggles. Plus, they know we walked. If we come in there completely dry, it will look a little suspicious, don't you think?"

"I suppose," Draco said discouraged. He stuck his wand back in his pocket.

They finally reached the center when the rain began to pound down really hard. They hurried inside as quickly as they could.

Both drenched, they timidly entered the reception room. The bride and groom had already begun their first dance as man and wife so Hermione led Draco to the back of the room, skirting around all the dry wedding guests. They sat down at a table and Hermione looked around.

"Oh, thank God," she whispered. A waiter was bringing around glasses of champagne. He reached their table and Hermione took two of the glasses. She sat one on the table and downed the one in her hand in two gulps. Draco eyed her with slight disgust and went to take his glass. Before he could even touch it, Hermione snatched it up from the table and drained it too.

"Hermione!" Draco said. "You need to calm down. I really don't understand why you're so stressed."

"Oh, you just wait," Hermione said. "Just wait! Ever since we were born our family has had us in competition."

"Competition?"

"Yes," Hermione said. "Our mothers, who are sisters, got pregnant at about the same time. So there was a little bet going on. They wanted to see who would be born first. I was born on September 19th and she was born on the 23rd. You would think that would be the end of it, wouldn't you?"

Before Draco could reply, Hermione went on with her ranting. "Then they had a whole competition on who would crawl and walk and talk first. And we always seemed to end up tying. But then I got accepted to Hogwarts three weeks before Laurie got accepted to her boarding school; which, by the way, was _not_ my fault because I didn't even know that Hogwarts existed until I got my letter.

"But ever since then Laurie has been doing her best to 'beat' me in every way she can. She even took the time to call me over the summer after sixth year just to tell me she'd lost her virginity. Can you believe that? And I think this wedding was her little way of 'getting me back.' You know, getting married before me. Well, now I've gone and gotten married before her and she's going to be pissed as hell at me and I really don't feel like hearing her bitch. Where's that waiter?" She sounded as though she'd been waiting a really long time to say all this. She exhaled deeply.

Draco stared at Hermione. She felt him looking at her so she eyed him. "Don't look at me like that. I know it's weird, but that's the way it is."

The dance ended and everyone applauded. One by one, couples began to get up and dance as the music started again. Hermione got two more glasses of champagne for herself and one for Draco. As she was finishing her fourth glass, her mother, her aunt, and Laurie came up to the table.

"Hi, mom," she said coyly.

"Hi, dear," Mrs. Granger replied. "I just brought your aunt and cousin over so they could meet your _husband_."

Hermione tried to act with dignity, but as the alcohol was beginning to take its effect, she found it hard to keep her posture perfect.

"Aunt Carol, Laurie," she said. "This is my husband, Draco."

She laced her fingers through Draco's and squeezed his hand. She decided that she didn't care what her family thought. Screw them and their stupid competition. If she had to pretend she was married to Draco, she was going to make the most of it.

"Hi, Draco," Laurie said coldly. She had her arms crossed over her chest and she was glaring at Hermione. "You know, Hermione, I think what you did was very selfish and immature and I still can't believe you'd sink that low just to ridicule me."

"I didn't do anything to ridicule you, Laurie," Hermione snapped. She was beginning to get annoyed.

Hermione's mother and aunt just stared back and forth at the two girls.

"Oh, don't play that," Laurie retorted. "I know you married this pretty boy just to get married before me."

"Excuse me?" Hermione said a little more loudly than she intended. Then she took on a sarcastic tone. "Oh, that's right, Laurie. Everything I do is to beat you. Every single aspect of my life was plotted out so I could beat you. And you know what? Draco may be a pretty boy but at least he's good-looking. Also, since you think I'm always trying to beat you let's start our own little competition. I bet you that I get pregnant before you!"

"Whoa!" Draco interjected. "I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves! We have no babies in our _plans_, Hermione."

"Oh, but we do!" Hermione said standing up. "In fact, Laurie, I'm going to go get impregnated right now! Come on, Draco."

Standing up, Hermione pulled on Draco's hand and they left the room. Out in the hallway Hermione was fuming. Her wet curly hair clung to her face as did her soaking wet dress.

"I can't believe her!" Hermione yelped. "Agh! I shouldn't have even come to the damn wedding." She threw her hands up in frustration. She peered into the room. "Great," she muttered. "They're coming. Quick, kiss me."

"What?" Draco exclaimed. "Now? I don't think now is the right time."

"Oh, quit being a baby and grab my ass!" Hermione cried. She tugged Draco's arms so they flung around her and landed on the wet fabric covering her butt. She pushed her body as close to Draco's as she possibly could and pressed her lips against his so hard that Draco's head tilted back a little bit.

Hermione was savagely ravishing Draco's mouth with such passion you would have thought Draco's mouth was the only source of nourishment and she was starving. Mrs. Granger and her sister approached the two.

"Hermione!" her mother shouted. "I don't know why you're acting this way but you need to get a hold of yourself."

"Mum," she said quietly and slowly. "I…am leaving now. Because…I'm going to go have sex with my husband. That's right! Sex! And you know what else? I wasn't a virgin when I got married. In fact, I haven't been a virgin for more than a year! Tell Daddy I said hello."

With that she pulled Draco out the door and down the street.

A few hours later Hermione sat on their bed staring out the window as the rain pounded against it harshly. She was now completely dry and in her pajamas. She rested her chin on her knees and hugged them.

Draco entered wearing his boxers and sat down on the end of the bed.

"Did I seriously tell my mother that I haven't been a virgin for over a year?" she murmured.

"Yes," Draco replied. "And you also told her that we left because we were going to have sex and get you pregnant."

Hermione buried her face in her hands.

"You don't remember any of that?" Draco asked.

"Yes," she said. "That's the problem. I want to forget it."

"Well, you know," Draco said, smirking. "If we really were married, it seems like we'd be doing some pretty good shagging right about now."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, by the way you were kissing me," Draco answered, "I'm guessing you're an _animal_ in bed."

Hermione's mouth opened in a small 'oh'. "I am not!" she shouted.

"Is that what your orgasm face looks like?"

"Shut up!" she snapped, but she couldn't conceal her slightly amused smile.

Draco laughed at her and got under the covers. "Oh, by the way, next weekend we're going to Francisco's lakeside cabin."

"What?" Hermione said unenthusiastically. "What's the point in that? No one will be there to see us."

"Yeah," Draco said. "I wish we could just pretend to go, but if for some reason Francisco decides to come down for a surprise visit we'll actually need to be there. Plus, I think it's good to get some pictures of us being a couple."

"Fine," Hermione said, crawling underneath the blankets. At least she had her Healer training to look forward to. She'd be going back to St. Mungo's tomorrow.

She turned so her back faced Draco's. There was a few minutes of silence before she broke it by saying into the darkness, "Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really think Laurie is pretty?"

"In a stereotypical, obvious sort of way," Draco replied. "…Do you really think I'm good-looking?"

"In a stereotypical, obvious sort of way," she answered with a grin.

**Okay, I really don't think this chapter is too good but please review anyway. I think Chapter 7 will make up for this one though. I plan on posting it by Wednesday. The little plot bunnies are going crazy inside my head.**

**Coming up...more with Harry and Ron, a weekend stay at a secluded cabin, and more interaction between Draco and Hermione.**

**Please review. You know you want to.**


	7. Click

**Chapter 7: Click**

Hermione stirred her coffee as fast as she could. Ever since she'd arrived at St. Mungo's, her fellow Healers in training had been hounding her all day for details about her honeymoon. Questions flew from every direction toward her as she tried to go about her daily routine as normal.

"Where did you go?"

"How was it?"

"Where did you stay?"

"How many times did you do it?"

"Did you even leave the room?"

Hermione did her best to ignore them but it was beginning to get more than aggravating. It was difficult enough to get back on track after being gone for so long without having to make up fake details about her fake honeymoon and her fake sex life.

_They want to know about my sex life_, Hermione thought. _Ha! Not only do I have to pretend I have one, I have to pretend I have one with Malfoy!_

What was worse than the questions was their reaction when they saw her new nametag that read:

_Hermione Malfoy _

_Healer Trainee_

_St. Mungo's_

"You married Draco Malfoy?"

"When did you start dating_ him_?"

"_The_ Draco Malfoy?"

"Is he really still a Death Eater?"

"Does he ever talk about You-Know-Who?"

"How is he in bed?"

"Seriously, _the_ Draco Malfoy?"

She'd finally found a break and ran to the lounge and got a few minutes of silence. When she finished she walked out into the hall. She only had an hour left of work and then she'd be going home.

Home.

She'd have to go back to Malfoy Manor. Although she'd lived there since they had come back from their honeymoon, Hermione couldn't quite call it home yet. It sort of felt as though she was staying in a hotel again. It was weird that when she left St. Mungo's she wouldn't be going back to her dinky little studio apartment. She hated living in a place where it didn't feel like home.

After work she really didn't feel like going back to the huge empty mansion so she Apparated to the one place that was her home away from home. She went to the one place that she felt the most comfortable.

Knocking on the door of The Burrow, she straightened her scrubs. The door flew open and Hermione saw Ginny standing there.

"Hey!" Ginny said, wiping her hands on her pants and moving aside so Hermione could come in. "We're just making dinner."

"Hi, Hermione, dear," Mrs. Weasley said with a smile from the stove.

"Hello," she replied, happily.

"I heard you got married," Mrs. Weasley said matter-of-factly. Ginny eyed her mother with caution. "Congratulations." Hermione couldn't help but notice the insincerity in her voice. Of course, Hermione couldn't blame her for not being thrilled about the marriage.

"Mum!" a male voice called from the living room. "I can't find the…oh, hi Hermione."

"Hi," she responded timidly. It was the first time she'd seen Ron since she told him and Harry that she and Draco were married.

They both seemed to be avoiding each others' eyes. Ron ran his fingers through his hair and glanced around the room, seeming to look for a reason to talk.

"Well, I just dropped in to say hello," Hermione said. "I've got to get going. Um, thanks again for watching Crookshanks for me, Ginny."

"No problem," Ginny replied.

"Are you sure you can't stay for dinner?" Mrs. Weasley asked. "We've got plenty."

"No, I can't," Hermione said somewhat hurriedly as she stepped toward the door. "Thanks anyway. I'll see you later."

"Oh, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed.

"Yeah?" she answered, turning around with her hand remaining on the doorknob.

"We're having a party for Harry on his birthday," he said. "Can you come?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," she said. "I'll be here…Bye."

Hermione went through the rest of the week very mechanically. She would go to work and then she'd come home. Work then home. Work then home. By Friday afternoon she was so exhausted all she wanted to do was get home, take a long hot shower and lie down.

She didn't get her wish. As soon as she walked into the bedroom, Draco handed her a bag.

"You need to pack," he said hastily. "I'm already done."

"Pack for what?" she asked, setting the bag on the bed.

Draco stared at her as though she was insane. "For the cabin. Remember? Our _romantic_ weekend getaway?"

"Oh, no!" Hermione moaned. "I completely forgot."

"Well, hurry and pack," he said. "I want to get out of here before my mother comes home. She's in a particularly bad mood today."

"No!" Hermione shrieked sarcastically, putting her hands on the side of her face. "In a bad mood? Not _your_ mother!"

After a few minutes of aiming her wand at things and having them neatly float into her bag, Hermione finished packing, changed her clothes, and followed Draco outside where they were to Disapparate.

"We have to walk a bit after we get there," Draco said. "The cabin's pretty isolated and there isn't an Apparition point near it."

Hermione nodded.

She was soon to find out that when Draco said they'd have to walk "a bit," he had been not quite telling the truth. Actually, telling her that they'd have to walk "a bit" had been a bold-faced lie. They had to hike up a huge hill and then through some woods. Then they had to trudge down another big hill and around a not-so-small lake.

Finally, they reached the small cabin and entered. Inside it was tiny but cozy. There was a fireplace in front of a small bed that looked like the most comfortable thing Hermione had ever laid eyes on at that moment because of how tired she was. A stove and sink were in the corner to the right and a bathroom was located across the room.

Hermione threw her bag down and flung herself onto the bed with a moan. "I'm going to sleep this entire weekend," she muttered, more to herself than to Draco.

"Hold it!" Draco said. "We've got to take some pictures."

"What!" Hermione exclaimed. "No, I look terrible. I need a shower and some sleep."

Draco ignored her and took his camera out of his bag. He held it up to his face, focusing on Hermione lying on the bed.

"Draco!" she yelped, holding her hand up to shield her face from view. "Do not take any pictures of me!"

_Cick._

"Okay," she grunted. "You got your picture. Now put that away and let me sleep."

_Click._

"Stop it!" she yelled.

_Click._

"Draco Malfoy!" Hermione screamed. "I swear to God if you don't stop taking my picture I'm going to curse the living hell out of you."

…

_Click. Click. Click._

Hermione leapt up and ran toward Draco, reaching out for the camera. He held it up out of her reach. She jumped up as high as she could but she was too short to reach it. So, grabbing her wand from her bag she pointed it at the camera and said, "_Accio camera_!"

It zoomed from Draco's extended hand and landed in Hermione's. "Let's see how you like it!"

She pointed the camera at Draco.

"Come on, now," Draco said with a serious face. "There's no need to be immature."

_Click._

"Okay, Hermione," Draco said. "You made your point. Give me back the camera."

_Click._

Draco came over to her and snatched at the camera. He got a hold of it and pulled but Hermione just wouldn't let go.

"Give it to me," he said.

"No."

"Give it."

"No."

"Give me the camera!"

"Fine!"

Hermione let go. The camera flew backward and in what seemed like slow motion it hit Draco square in the nose.

"Ow!" he cried, throwing the camera on the bed and grabbing his nose.

"Oh my God!" Hermione shrieked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm bleeding!" he yelled, looking at his hands. "You could have broken my nose!"

"Oh, it's not that bad!" Hermione said defensively. "Stop being a baby."

Draco rushed to the bathroom to clean up his bleeding nose.

"Draco!" Hermione called.

"What!" he asked, stepping in the doorway. His nose was slightly swollen and a tiny bit of blood was trickling from his nose, making its way to his chin.

_Click._

A few hours later Hermione lay in bed peacefully. Needless to say, Draco had been furious with her and had refused to talk to her the rest of the day. But that was perfectly fine with her because that meant he wouldn't bother her while she was trying to sleep.

At around midnight, she had felt him get in bed beside her. It was slightly uncomfortable because the bed wasn't near as big as the one they had at Malfoy Manor so they were forced to sleep so that their backs were almost touching. Hermione tried not to think about it and drifted back to sleep.

Unfortunately she was awoken again a couple of hours later because there was something sticking her in the middle of her back. Thinking it was Draco's knee or something she scooted over a little and tried to get comfortable again. But before she could even get relaxed again, the unwanted jabber instinctively followed her and was now pressed into the small of her back.

Hermione's eyes shot open.

_Oh, God_, she thought. _That can't be…it's not…he _wouldn't_…_

She realized she was holding her breath as she tried to edge away from what was now grinding into her back. The only problem was that the bed was so small that she had no more room left to move and she really didn't want to go through the humiliation of falling out of bed again.

Of course, the humiliation of having a penis pushed against you was slightly worse. It wasn't the penis that was humiliating. It was whom the penis belonged to that was the embarrassing part. Even if the penis did belong to her husband, there was no reason he had to push it against her.

She sat up and flung her legs over the side of the bed so that she was sitting with her back to Draco. She just sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. She soon found her eyes wandering behind her.

She quickly realized what she was doing and snapped her head back so that she was looking at the cabin wall. She couldn't look. It wasn't right. It wasn't ethical. It wasn't polite.

Although…

Draco had groped her in her sleep. And this would be the perfect payback. He had felt her breast…why couldn't she see his penis?

She turned slowly and pulled back the blanket. Draco's erection was visible beneath his silky boxers. Hermione had only seen one other man's penis in real life before but as far as she could tell Draco was pretty well endowed. Suddenly, Hermione got a wonderful idea. She quietly got up and crept across the room.

Without making a sound she positioned herself perfectly beside the bed. "We're going to have to have a little talk about those dreams you're having, Mr. Malfoy," she whispered.

_Click._


	8. I'm not going to drown you

**Chapter 8: I'm not going to drown you**

Hermione was woken up by Draco nudging her sternly in the back. Her eyes parted slightly and she murmured, "What do you want?"

"Get up," he answered simply. "We need to take pictures."

"Can't that wait?" she asked in an extremely annoyed voice as she squinted from the blinding sunlight that was penetrating the room through the window.

"No, it can't," he replied. "It's already almost lunch time and it's pretty warm out there. We need to get started while the weather's still on our side. We're going down to the lake."

Hermione grumbled and got up.

After they got dressed and ate they made their way to the lake. Hermione laid a big blanket down on the grass near a big tree. Straightening her blue two-piece bathing suit, she sat down with her book. She opened it to the last place she stopped and began to read. She had decided that even if this trip was to show that she and Draco were spending time together, she could still enjoy it by reading and tanning.

"Hermione!" Draco called from the edge of the water where he was standing in his swimming trunks. Hermione looked up.

_Click_.

"Will you please warn me before you do that?" she asked, irritated.

"Candid pictures are better," he said.

_We'll see how long you hold that opinion_, Hermione thought, remembering the secret picture she'd taken of Draco the night before.

Draco made his way back up to where Hermione was sitting. He plopped down next to her on the blanket and pulled a bottle of sunscreen from the bag he had brought with him. "Will you put this on my back? If I don't have sun block I'll burn."

"Do it yourself," Hermione said, not looking up from her book.

"I can't reach my own back," he said.

Hermione sighed. "Fine." She placed the bookmark back in between the pages of her book, put it down on the blanket, and took the bottle from him. Positioning herself on her knees behind Draco, she squirted some of the cool, white lotion onto his back. She smoothed it out evenly, rubbing the thick liquid over his white shoulders and spreading it from the top his spine to the pale small of his back.

When she finished she rubbed her hands together and handed the bottle back to him. He put some on the rest of his body that wasn't covered up and placed the bottle back in the bag. Standing up, he handed the camera to Hermione.

"Take a picture of me," he said as hestood beside the tree.

"How come you get to pose?" she asked.

"Just take the picture," he demanded.

_Click._

"We need some of us together," Draco said. He pulled his wand from the bag, tapped the camera with it and said, "_Wingardium leviosa."_ The camera levitated a few feet in the air. Hermione stood up.

"How should we pose?" she asked.

"Um…" he muttered, thinking. "Get on my back."

"No!" she replied. "You'll drop me."

"Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be," he said. "I won't drop you."

She sighed in frustration but obeyed him nevertheless. She walked around him, placed her hands on his shoulders, and hoisted herself up onto his back. He held her up by hooking his hands around her legs. Pointing his wand at the camera, Draco muttered another spell.

"One…two…three…" Draco counted. "Smile." They both gave phony grins.

_Click_.

Hermione eagerly jumped off of Draco's back and stood, waiting for his next instructions.

"I think we should get one of us kissing," he said, looking at the camera.

"Do we have to?" Hermione asked, almost begging for an alternative. "People know we kiss. There's no reason to take a picture of us kissing. I really don't want there to be a picture of _that_ floating around."

"You can have all the pictures whenthe divorce is final," Draco said. "I'm sure you'll want to cherish the memories of kissing a Malfoy."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I'm going to have to sterilize my mouth when this whole thing is over."

Draco ignored her.The camera continued to hover in the air. "We'll need to be kissing when the camera snaps so it'll look more natural."

He moved closer to Hermione. Placing his hands delicately around her waist, he pulled her middle toward himself so that it bumped softly against his stomach. Hermione could feel the soft blonde hair that traveled from Draco's navel down into the waistband of his swimming trunks graze her bellybutton.She felt goosebumps raise on her arms at the contact.Draco leaned in and tenderly kissed Hermione.

She closed her eyes as she felt him sucking on her lower lip. Kissing him back, she again almost completely forgot who she was making out with. Without pausing or missing a beat, Draco pointed his wand in the direction of the camera with his eyes still closed and apparently said the spell in his head because a few moments later Hermione heard _click._

They pulled away from each other with a soft smacking sound.

"Alright," Draco began, after clearing his throat several times and pressing his lips together, "we should get some in the water."

They wandered down to the lake. When they reached the edge, Draco again pointed his wand at the camera and said, "_Accio camera_." It floated to them and remained suspended in the air. Hermione waded into the lake until the water reached her knees. Then she stopped.

Draco, who was waist-deep, turned to her and motioned for her to continue and follow him. She shook her head.

"Why not?" he questioned.

She hesitated for a moment but then answered, "Because I can't swim."

"You can't swim?" he repeated.

"That's what I said."

"Why not?" he asked again.

"I just can't."

"But what about in fourth year at Hogwarts?" he asked suspiciously. "When Potter was in the Triwizard Tournament. You had to stay down in _that _lake for hours."

"Yes," she confirmed, "but I was knocked out. I didn't wake up until I was out of the water and Viktor pulled me out of the lake. I never had to swim."

"Why didn't you ever learn?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I just never really had the desire to. I've gone to the beach and stuff with my family but I usually just sit on the shore and read. If I do get in the water, I never go past my knees."

"I can't believe you can't swim."

"A lot of people don't know how to swim!" she yelled defensively. "Why do you care so much anyway?"

"Because it's weird," he answered. "You're nineteen."

"It is not weird!" she said. "I've just never learned."

"Well, it's about time you do," he said. "Come on, I'll help you."

"Oh, no," Hermione responded, shaking her head again. "I don't think so."

"Quit being a chicken," Draco teased. "It's not hard."

"No."

"I'm not going to drown you," Draco said.

"How do I know that?" she asked. "You weren't exactly the sweetest person in the world when we were in school. You broke Harry's nose when he was completely defenseless. Even though you've changed a little, you're basically the same person."

"First of all," he said, "Potter deserved that nose-breaking for being a nosy little prick. Second of all, yes, I was a dick in school. But I tormented people by being mean to them. I never drowned anyone."

Hermione hesitated but then she slowly walked toward him. Draco placed his wand securely in the waistband of his bathing suit and waited for her to reach him. When she did, the water reached higher on her because she was so much shorter than he was.

"Turn around," he stated. "We're going to take a picture first."

She did. Draco slipped his arms around her waist in the water and tugged her upward so she was floating with Draco supporting her. As she waited for Draco to do the spell on the camera to make it take a picture on its own, she began to feel a little weird. All she could concentrate on was the fact that her back was rubbing up against the sensitive skin of Draco's chest and stomach with nothing between them except a thin barrier of water. The only strange thing about that was that she liked it.

_It's Draco!_ she scolded herself. _You're not attracted to him. You can't be. It's only because you haven't had sex in a while. Stop thinking about it! Think of something gross! Okay, worms…eels…old milk…I've never had sex in the water before…Agh! Stop having sexual thoughts about your husband! _She closed her eyes and shook her head violently. When she opened her eyes again she was staring at the camera.

_Click._

"Alright," Draco started, "I'll teach you how to float first. Lay on your back and I'll hold you up."

She eyed him warily but she did as he said. Leaning back, she lay down so that one of Draco's hands was in between her shoulders and the other was on the small of her back under the water. She shivered slightly at his touch, hoping that he would assume that this reaction was from the contact with the cool water.

However, he didn't even seem to notice at all because he went on with the swimming lesson. "Okay," he said, "now hold your breath."

Hermione inhaled deeply and held it, closing her eyes. Draco moved the hand that was on her lower back away. Her legs descended slightly but otherwise she stayed afloat with her wet hair circling around her head.

"Spread your arms a little bit," Draco said. She did. Then, she felt Draco's other hand move away from her body and, to her surprise, she stayed balanced on top of the water.

By the time they finished their lesson, the sun was going down. Hermione could not only float but she could also do a breast stroke, a back stroke, and swim under the water. It was a good thing she was a fast learner.

They returned to the blanket, both soaking wet. Hermione piled her drenched hair into a messy bun on top of her head and took the towel that Draco handed her.

"We need a few more pictures," Draco said. "How should we take them?"

"I don't know," she answered, shivering and rubbing her arms. Now that the sun wasn't up anymore she was getting chilly just wearing a sopping wet bathing suit.

"Here," Draco said, pulling a big towel around Hermione's shoulders.

"Oh, this would be a good one," she said.

"What would?"

"Hold the towel around me like you just were," she answered. He did the spell on the camera and did as she said.

_Click_.

"We need at least one more," Draco stated.

Hermione thought for a moment. She looked out over the lake. The sun was halfway visible over the horizon and the sky was a mesh of yellow, pink, and purple.

"Let's kiss in front of the sunset," Hermione suggested.

"I thought you didn't want pictures of us kissing floating around," he said.

"Well, I don't," she replied. "But that sunset is really pretty and it'd be a good picture. If we're going to do this we might as well do it right. Right?"

Draco nodded. He positioned the camera in the air so that it was facing the setting sun. He wrapped one hand around Hermione's waist and the other he placed on the side of her face. With his thumb he rubbed her cheek gently in what Hermione would have called a romantic way had it been anyone but Draco Malfoy doing it. She brought her arms up to his neck and they leaned toward each other. When their lips connected Hermione pushed herself against him even more on instinct.

_Click_.

Hermione didn't even notice the sound of the camera. She kept on kissing Draco passionately. Parting her lips, she let him slip his tongue beyond them. She responded to his every technique. She felt his hands wonder downward to the back of her bathing suit bottoms, but she didn't stop him. She didn't want to stop him. She felt a shock go through her body at his touch.

Then, she pulled away.

_It is Draco!_ she told herself again. _Don't get carried away. You do not need sex bad enough to have it with someone that you're supposed to hate._

They stared at each other for a minute until Draco walked to the camera and picked it up as if it had been sitting on a table.

"We better go inside," he mentioned as though nothing had happened.

**I know this chapter doesn't have the humor that the others do. But it needed to be written. Please review.**

**Coming up…some adultery, an interesting proposition from Draco, and a birthday party.**

**Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!**


	9. Married!

**Thank you to all my reviewers! You rock so hard.**

**Chapter 9:** **Married!**

Hermione closed the door of her bedroom shut with a snap. Her "romantic weekend" with Draco was finally over and she had just come home from St. Mungo's after an extremely tiring day. For some reason her coworkers were even more inquisitive about her weekend than her honeymoon. Every time she turned around she had another girl in her face asking amazingly personal questions. To her annoyance and exasperation most of said questions pertained to one thing. That one thing happened to be the last thing Hermione wanted to discuss with them.

Sex.

For the life of her, Hermione could not figure out why in the hell everyone was so interested in her sex life. They'd never been this engrossed in it before. Naturally, she assumed it wasn't actually her sex life that they wanted to know about. It was whom her sex life was with. Rather, whom they _thought_ her sex life was with since said sex life was nonexistent.

She decided to act like the shy little new wife and brush off the questions. She was thankful that no one seemed to question this. They all seemed to assume that she just wanted to keep her marriage private. Nobody appeared to have the suspicion that the reason she couldn't give details about sex with one Draco Malfoy was because she'd never had said sex with one Draco Malfoy.

Hermione lay facedown on the bed with her eyes closed. She prayed that soon the interest her fellow Healers in training were having in her marriage would die down. Until then she'd just have to endure it. She had almost drifted off to sleep when the door shot open and loudly banged against the wall.

"What the hell is this?" Draco asked angrily, violently brandishing something in the air.

Hermione rolled over and eyed him. "What are you talking about?" she asked without getting up.

"I developed the pictures today," Draco said with irritation. "I wasn't _informed_ about this one!" He held out one of the photographs.

Hermione took the picture from him and looked at it. Without hesitation she burst into a fit of laughter.

"It's not funny!" Draco yelled, jerking it back out of her grasp.

Hermione lay on her side laughing at the look on his face. "Why are you so upset?" she asked, through giggles. "I think it's a good picture of you."

"Stop laughing!"

The picture had indeed been of Draco…at least it was of a part of Draco's anatomy. It was the picture of his erection that Hermione had secretly taken. It had come out better than she ever could have dreamed. Apparently kneeling beside the bed had been the perfect angle to capture Draco in all his glory.

"Well, answer me," Draco snapped. "What the hell is that?"

"Well," she said, almost snorting because of her effort to contain her amusement, "it appears to be a photo of your--"

"I know _what_ it is!" Draco cut her off. "But why did you take a picture of it?"

"Let's just say it's payback," she answered.

"Payback?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied. "For fondling me."

"That was an accident!"

"And for poking me in the back."

"When did I…?"

She gave him a look that said, "Think about it."

"I didn't even know that happened!" Draco said. "You can't _punish_ me for that with _this_!"

"Quit being so uptight!" Hermione said, getting up and still smiling. "No one else has seen it or even knows about it. And you said I could have the pictures when this whole thing is all over so I'll just--"

"Oh, no," he said. "I'll give you all the pictures. All of them except this one."

Hermione stretched. "Fine, fine."

"Don't ever do anything like that again, either," Draco said.

"I'm hungry," she said abruptly, ignoring his demand.

"You always say that after work," Draco said, seeming to decide it was better to drop his debate about the penis picture since he wasn't getting anywhere with his argument. "Don't you eat lunch?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"The hospital food is disgusting," she answered. "It's all crap."

"I'm sure something is alright," he said. "What about the jello?"

"Crap."

"I know they have steak," he said. "What about that?"

"Crap."

"The corndogs?" he suggested.

"Crap on a stick."

"Wow…well, I guess we could go out," Draco said. "It'd be good to be seen eating together."

When Hermione had changed out of her work clothes and Draco had gotten ready they decided to go to eat in Diagon Alley.

"Do you want to go to Io's?" Draco asked.

"No," Hermione replied. "Let's just go there." She pointed to a little grill place on the corner.

"There?" Draco repeated.

"Yes, there," she said. "I bet they have good fries."

"But…that's such a common place," Draco said, not moving.

"Common?" Hermione repeated. "See, you of all people should understand why I don't like the hospital food. You're the pickiest eater I know. You need to learn to have a little fun in life, Draco. It's not healthy to _always_ want to eat in a four-star fancy restaurant. They're not going to poison you." She started off toward the grill place without looking back.

Just as she thought he would, Draco followed behind her. They entered and sat on either side of the booth. The place was almost packed. The waitress came and took their orders. As she returned to the kitchen, Hermione saw Draco watch her walk away.

"Would you please not check out other women when we're out together?" she asked in a whisper.

He paused for a minute then whispered back, "Why? Are you jealous?"

"Of course not!" she answered quickly. Draco raised his eyebrows. "Why would I be? We're not really _together _together. But it still looks bad. I thought you wanted people to be convinced that we're really married."

"I do."

"Then don't noticeably check out other women!" she said. "Married men don't look at other women like that."

"What kind of married men do you know?" he asked sarcastically.

She opened her mouth to reply but just then the waitress returned with their drinks. Hermione thanked her and took a sip of her beverage.

"Oh, I meant to tell you," she began, "I'm going to Harry's birthday party on Saturday. So don't make any plans for us."

"Birthday party?" Draco asked.

"Yes."

"I'm going with you," he said blatantly.

"What?" she choked. "Oh, no your not. Don't you realize that this is _Harry's_ birthday party?"

"Yes," he replied in annoyance. "I heard you the first time when you said, 'I'm going to _Harry's_ birthday party.' What's that got to do with anything? It's a public event and it'd be good for us to be seen together by a lot of people."

"Yes," she said, "but it _Harry's_ birthday party."

"Will you stop saying that!" he said loudly. "I get that it's Potter's birthday. Do you want me to get him a card?"

"All I mean is that there will be a lot of people there who are not particularly fond of you," she answered. "And public event or not they will not hesitate to impale you on something sharp or shove something unpleasant in certain places."

Draco thought for a moment. "Fine, I won't go. But you need to make a big deal out of the fact that you're married. That way you'll have to talk about it."

"Fine," she said.

* * *

Saturday seemed to arrive in no time. Hermione bade Draco farewell at seven that night and Flooed her way to the Burrow where Harry's birthday party was being held. When she got there she saw Harry sitting on the couch in the living room wearing a cone birthday hat. When he saw her he jumped up and came over to her.

"Hermione!" he yelled over the loud music that was blaring. "You're here!"

"Yeah," she called back. "I can't believe this is your party." She looked around at all the people dancing and drinking. "I was expecting one of those quaint dinner parties Mrs. Weasley likes to throw."

"Yeah, well, that's what it was going to be," Harry answered. "But me and Ron talked her out of it."

"I see you talked her into having alcohol too," Hermione said with a grin. "What's next? Is there going to be bong passed around?"

They both laughed, after which there was an awkward silence. They were both obviously avoiding the topic of Draco. What was even more awkward was that they both knew that the other was avoiding it.

"So…uh, where's Ron?" she asked, trying to make conversation.

"I think he's upstairs getting ready," Harry replied. "You know him. He puts everything off until the last minute."

"Alright," Hermione said. "I'm going to go say hi. I'll come find you in a little bit."

Harry nodded and Hermione made her way up the rickety staircase up to Ron's old bedroom. The door still said, "Ronald's Room" in pealing paint. She knocked lightly and pushed the door open. Ron was standing in the middle of the room with his shirt halfway over his head. Hermione stared as he pulled it all the way down.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she replied. "Sorry about barging in on you."

"It's okay," he said. "It's not like I was naked."

There was silence.

"I just came up to say hi," Hermione said.

"Hi," Ron smiled.

"Hi," Hermione repeated. Her eyes darted around the room looking for something to talk about. "Um…so…how's…"

"Why'd you really come up here, Hermione?" Ron interrupted.

"What?"

"Why'd you really come up here?" he said again.

"I…I don't know," she said.

"There had to be a reason," he said. She noticed he was getting closer to her. "I miss you, Hermione."

"I miss you too," she said.

Ron was close enough to touch her now. And that he did. He reached out and grabbed her hand. She felt her legs start to shake slightly. Ron bent down and kissed her softly on the lips. It was barely even a peck but she felt her knees almost give out. Ron leaned in again and this time kissed her longer and harder. He still hadn't pulled away when she jerked back and broke their contact.

"I can't!" she said.

"What?"

"I can't," she repeated. "It's wrong."

"It felt right to me," Ron said. "Why's it wrong?"

"Because I'm _married_, Ron," Hermione said, putting her hands on the sides of her face. "Married! Adultery is a deadly sin. Oh my God, I've just committed adultery. How could I? This is terrible."

"Hermione, snap out of it!" Ron urged. "We just kissed. Kissing isn't adultery. Besides you're married, but you're married to Malfoy. It's not like you're married to a real person or anything."

"Why would you say that?" she asked slightly defensively.

"Because it's _Malfoy_," Ron replied. "Come on, Hermione. He's probably banging every girl within a hundred feet of him when you're not around. Malfoy's not one to be faithful."

"You don't even know him!" Hermione yelled, backing away a little more. "He's changed. You should get to know someone before you judge them."

"Why are you getting so worked up?"

"I…" Why _was_ she getting so worked up? It wasn't like she had _feelings_ for Draco or anything. Was it? "Because he's my husband," she said.

She stormed angrily out of the room and went back downstairs. She spent the rest of the party with Ginny and Harry while trying to completely ignore Ron. By the end of the night she was still furious with him but she told him goodnight before leaving. He looked very downcast but she knew he'd get over it.

It was almost twelve when she finally got home. She was extremely tired and all she wanted to do was go to sleep. She climbed the stairs and was about to open the bedroom door but before she even had her hand on the doorknob it opened on it's own. She expected Draco to exit the room but unless Draco had shrunk five inches, grown two feet of long black hair, gotten a dark tan, developed huge breasts, and lost his penis all over the course of a few hours, then it wasn't her husband who had opened the door.

Standing before her was a very pretty woman that she had never seen before wearing an impossibly short skirt and an indescribable tiny shirt. She just looked Hermione up and down before walking straight past her and out of the house without a word.

**Please review.**

**I know nothing of British food so if there's things in here that they don't have in the U.K. or something, please forgive me.**

**Coming up in the next chapter…Draco's proposition. **


	10. Thank you for changing the sheets

**Chapter 10: Thank you for changing the sheets**

Hermione barged into their bedroom and slammed the door as hard as she possibly could. Draco was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing nothing but his boxers. His hair was disheveled and he looked exhausted.

"Who the hell was that?" Hermione asked, not bothering to hide her anger.

"Who?" Draco said, drenching the words with innocence.

"Oh, don't even try to play that…" Hermione said. "You know exactly who I'm talking about. Who is she?"

"She's a friend," Draco replied.

"Oh, a friend?" Hermione snapped. "You're an asshole. I can't believe you'd cheat on me. After all that shit you gave me about people thinking we're really married and then you bring some tramp in here pretending you don't have a wife…"

"In my defense…I told her I was married," Draco interrupted.

"Oh, I see…" she said angrily. "So, it's okay for us to have sex with other people as long as they know we're married?"

"No…" he answered. She raised her eyebrows to him. "I didn't have sex with her. She was just giving me some…oral assistance."

Hermione made a face at lack of tact. "That's still cheating!" she yelled.

"Well, what am I supposed to do, Hermione?" he asked. "I have needs, you know. You won't have sex with me. I had to do something."

"And I don't?" she asked. "Not being able to have sex is not that easy for me either. But I wouldn't _cheat_ on you."

"Oh, just drop it," he said with a yawn. "Let's go to bed."

"I am not sleeping in that bed with you," she said coldly. "I'm sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms. Even if you couldn't control yourself, you should have had the decency to at least not have sex with someone else in our marital bed." She went to the dresser and pulled out some pajamas. "The 'marital' part doesn't really mean anything," she added, "but I do have to sleep in it."

Without saying goodnight she left the room, closing the door behind her.

* * *

The next morning Draco came downstairs to find Hermione already dressed for work going through the many pages of the Daily Prophet.

"Hi," he said nonchalantly to his wife, as if said wife had not just caught him red-handedly committing adultery in the very bed they sleep in the night before.

She didn't even look up at him. She continued to look through the paper as if she hadn't noticed anyone addressing her. Although, she was rifling through the pages a little more aggressively than she was before.

"Hermione?" Draco said. "I have a proposition for you…"

At first she didn't respond, but it seemed her curiosity got the best of her because she threw the paper on the coffee table and looked at him. "A proposition?" she questioned.

"Yes," he said. "You were right. We _do _want people to believe we're really married, and it's not a good idea for us to sleep with other people. People talk. And if a woman has the chance to have sex with me then she's going to tell people. It's only natural to boast about something like that." Hermione seemed to want to respond to this statement but he cut her off. "So why don't we sleep with each other? As long as we have rules we can keep it from getting complicated."

"Are you kidding?" she said. "No."

"Why not?" he asked. "We're married. We both need to relieve our sexual frustration. There's nothing wrong with it."

"No," she repeated.

"Why?"

"Because, we act married in public because we have to. But if we're having sex it'll be in private. I just think that'd be too weird."

"Well…if that's the problem we could have sex in public…"

She just gave him a look that clearly said, "Hell no."

"Oh, come on," he said, a smile threatening to surface. "That will definitely show how we feel about each other. We can't even control our urges enough to not shag on the table at a romantic dinner…"

"I'm going to work," Hermione said, getting up. "I'll see you when I get home."

Hermione put her quill down and sighed. She looked back up and her patient and repeated for what she hoped was the last time, "Mr. Williams…I need to know what happened to cause you to be sick or I can't help you."

The ancient-looking man laying in the bed next to her narrowed his eyes, but still refused to make eye contact with Hermione. "I told you, there's not a damn thing wrong with me. My kids are trying to get rid of me that's all."

"That's not true," she said. "You've been fainting an awful lot these days. Now tell me what's the matter."

"Nothing," he said. "But I sure as hell didn't try mixing the Draught of the Living Dead with a few different potions to see what would happen."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Hermione said, jotting a note down on her paper.

"I said I _didn't_ do that…" Mr. Williams said.

Hermione was about to respond when there was a knock on the door. "Hermione?" said one of the senior Healers. "This just came for you by owl. It's a note from your husband."

"Thank you," Hermione said, getting up and taking the note. She turned to her patient. "We'll finish this in a few minutes, Mr. Williams."

"The hell we will," the old wizard said, crossing his arms as Hermione shut the door as she left.

After making sure that no one was around to read over her shoulder, she ripped the note open and read,

_Hermione,_

_When you get home make yourself presentable. We're going out for a romantic dinner tonight. I'll be home to get you when it's time. Be ready before I get there._

_Your loving husband,_

_Draco_

Hermione made a face. She despised when he said "make yourself presentable." As if she looked like a troll on a day-to-day basis. The idea of actually making herself look like a troll before Draco arrived crossed her mind. That would teach him a lesson.

Despite her urge to write a simple message of "Go to hell" on a piece of parchment, she wrote a simple message of "I'm not shagging you on the dinner table" and sent it with one of the hospital owls.

When she got home, Hermione took a shower and put on a blue dress she had borrowed from Ginny. She looked in the mirror. She was glad it wasn't too short and didn't show too much cleavage. She felt slightly uncomfortable about these issues because of her conversation with Draco that morning.

"Are you ready," she heard Draco yell up the stairs.

She exited the bedroom and went to meet him. "Oh, you're already being romantic," she cooed sarcastically.

"Shut up," Draco replied as they walked to the door.

"All my girlish fantasies are coming true," she said with an overly joyful voice.

"Let's just go."

When they entered the restaurant they were seated at the nicest table (by request of Draco and the money he slipped the host). After Hermione was settled in her chair Draco pulled his over so that he was sitting right beside of her instead of across the table.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I just want to be close to you," he replied, a little more loudly than needed.

Hermione rolled her eyes as he took her hand and kissed it tenderly. "My knight in shining armor," she mumbled. She began looking at her menu for something she wanted. "What are you going to…what the hell are you doing?" Food was completely catapulted from her mind because Draco had placed his hand on her bare knee and was now rubbing his thumb across it.

"I'm lovingly caressing your knee in an affectionate way," he explained, as if it was obvious.

"Well, stop it," she said, pushing his hand away. She returned her attention to her menu and was browsing what kind of soups the restaurant offered when Draco's fingertips began the sweep across her neck and shoulders, giving her chills.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"That's a possibility."

"You're ridiculous," she whispered. "You think that's going to work?"

"Of course it will."

"I doubt it."

"I don't."

"I hate you."

"We'll see about that."

Then there was silence. Hermione was glaring at him. She wasn't angry because her husband was trying to seduce her. She was angry because her husband was so sure that he _could_ seduce her.

"I want to go home," she said abruptly.

"Why?"

"Because, this is stupid."

"Fine," he said. "Let's go home."

And home they went without speaking one word to one another the entire journey. When they reached their destination they went upstairs to their bedroom. Hermione had every intention to get one of her books and go read it in the same guest bedroom she'd slept in the night before until she went to sleep. But when they entered to room, she couldn't help but notice there was a difference.

"You changed the comforter," she stated.

"I did," said Draco. "I also changed the sheets and flipped the mattress."

"Why?"

"Because I knew it bothered you that I'd been with another woman in our bed," he answered.

"I was not bothered by that…" she said. "I was bothered because it's disgusting. Not because you were with someone else."

Draco looked as though he wanted to disagree but said nothing.

"Still…" she said. "That was very sweet." She hesitated but then moved towards him and gave him what was barely a peck on the cheek. She went to move away but Draco gently grabbed her arm and out of nowhere he kissed her.

Hermione was so shocked at first that she didn't know what to do. Her eyes were still open for the first few seconds but then she closed them and let it happen. It was a real kiss. It wasn't for a picture, it wasn't to convince anyone that they were in love, and it wasn't for practice. Although it was none of these things, it also wasn't a kiss between two people who _were_ in love. It was a lustful kiss. It was a kiss between two people with a ridiculous amount of sexual tension between them. It was a kiss between two people who really needed to have sex.

Draco pressed himself into Hermione as the kiss got a little more intense. Hermione's mind was blank until she felt Draco's hand threatening to pull the zipper of her dress down. Her first reaction was to let him, because her hormones were telling her she should but then she began to think rationally. All that entered her mind then was, "It will be a mistake."

She pulled away from him. Clearing her throat she shifted backward slightly and said, "Thank you for changing the sheets."


	11. That's attractive

**Chapter 11: That's attractive**

Hermione walked quickly down the street holding a newspaper above her increasingly bushy head. Rain smacked loudly onto the Daily Prophet causing the people in the front page pictures to scatter angrily. Hermione was looking down as she sprinted to be sure not to step in any puddles. She was so concentrated that she was very surprised when she hit something and fell to the ground.

The something she'd run into was actually a someone. They held their arm out and she took it, pulling herself up. "Ron!" she exclaimed when she saw who it was.

"Hi, Hermione," he answered. He looked uncomfortable. Hermione assumed that he was still not happy with her being with Draco. "Sorry I knocked you over."

"No, no," she said. "It was my fault…" She and Ron slipped underneath the cover above the Three Broomsticks doorway. "So…how have you been?" She wanted to keep him talking. If they could just get past the awkward part of the conversation maybe they could be friends again.

"I've been good," he said as he rubbed his neck distractedly and looked around them. "You?"

"I've been okay," she smiled.

"There you are, Ronny!"

A tiny pixie-like girl with short blue-black hair bounced up to them. Hermione looked down at her. She looked even smaller next to Ron, considering his height. Hermione was shocked when he bent down and kissed the girl on the cheek.

"Hermione," Ron said with what seemed like a hint of apology in his voice, "this is Nita."

Hermione cleared her throat and held out her hand. Nita took it and shook with enthusiasm. "It's nice to meet you," she said. "Ronny talks about you all the time."

"Does he?" Hermione replied without returning the girl's excitement.

"Yes," Nita said. "It's good to finally meet you."

"You too," Hermione said, only being polite. She actually wished the girl would spontaneously burst into flames, starting with her blue-tinted hair. "Well, I've got to get going…"

"Oh, so soon?" Nita pouted, looking sincerely disappointed. "Why don't you stay and have a drink with us?"

Hermione saw Nita slip her hand toward Ron's and lace their fingers together. She couldn't take it. She had to get away. "No, no," she said, fighting the lump that had developed in her throat. "I have to get home…to…my husband. He's waiting on me."

"Okay," Nita grinned. "It was really nice to meet you."

"Mhm," was all Hermione could muster. She hurried away from them as fast as she could without seeming to flee from a dangerous monster. She didn't cry. She wouldn't allow it. As she continued to walk home she couldn't help but think about what a creep Ron was. How could he want to be with that tiny little blue-haired bitch? What could he see in her? Seriously? She must have put a spell on him or something. That's the only way he would have fallen for her.

The only problem was that Hermione couldn't rightfully call her a bitch without feeling guilty. She hated it when people you want to dislike are so nice you feel horrible about hating them.

The more she thought about the entire situation, the more her sadness faded and her anger took its place. By the time she stepped in the doorway of the house, she'd gotten an excellent plan. She ran upstairs to find Draco but he wasn't there. She sent an owl to him instead.

_Dearest husband,_

_I've been thinking about your offer and I may not be able to refuse any longer. I'd like to have dinner out tonight. I'll wear something slightly revealing as long as you don't try to molest me at the dinner table. Send me an owl and let me know what you think._

_Your loving wife._

It didn't take long for Draco to respond. His letter was, as per usual, short and sweet:

_Darling wife,_

_Make it something really revealing and we have a deal._

_Your horny husband._

Hermione scribble the time and place on the back of his note and sent it back with the owl.

………………

Hermione and Draco walked into the restaurant. To appease Draco she'd decided to wear a black dress that had less fabric on the top and bottom of the dress than she would have liked. He seemed to be happy because he kept staring at her. Hermione realized she was going to need quite a bit of alcohol to get herself through this.

They walked up to the hostess. Hermione cut in front of Draco so that she could be the one to talk to her. "We have reservations for Malfoy, for four."

The girl scrolled through the list of names with her long red finger nail before stopping and picking up four menus. "Right this way," she said. They followed.

Hermione was walking quickly; trying to keep up with the hostess wearing four inch heels wasn't easy. Draco was tailing close behind her. "Why do we need a table for four?"

"We just do," she replied, being careful not to bump into any of the tables and knock anyone's drink off.

"But why?"

"I need a lot of space to eat fancy meals."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Draco," she said sternly, trying not to raise her voice. "I'm wearing a dress that took me fifteen minutes to put on, shoes probably made by Satan that are anything but comfortable footwear, enough shit in my hair to start a fire, and the most uncomfortable lace underwear that I own…in which the bra actually matches the knickers…so I suggest you appreciate that and stop worrying about the amount of chairs that are going to be at our table."

Draco opened his mouth to retaliate but the hostess interrupted. "Here's your table. Your waitress will be out in a moment to take your drink order. I hope you have a lovely time." She walked away.

The two of them sat. After the waitress came and took their drink orders Hermione thought she was going to be able to get through the night without too much confrontation when the waitress came back and said, "Will the rest of your party be joining you soon?"

"Yes," Hermione replied, avoiding Draco's gaze.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Who's the rest of the party?"

"No one."

"You're lying."

"So?"

"Granger…"

"No, no," she said with a slight smirk, waving her finger at him. "My last name is Malfoy, remember?"

Draco looked very angry, but it was nothing compared to the look he had on his face when the rest of their party did arrive. "What's Weasley doing here?"

Hermione coughed.

"I don't believe this."

Ron and Nita came to the table and sat down. There would have been an awkward silence if Ron hadn't been dating someone who seemed to never be uncomfortable…even around complete strangers.

"Hello!" Nita grinned toward Draco. "How are you? You're Hermione's husband, I'm guessing. Well, of course you are…I'm Nita, Ron's girlfriend."

Draco stared. "Hello."

Ron was mirroring Draco's expression almost exactly. "Well," Hermione said cheerfully as she downed all of her wine, "who wants a drink?"

The evening went on. There wasn't much actual conversation, though there was a lot of talking coming from the left of Ron's shoulder. Hermione just smiled and nodded along and she drank glass after glass of wine and nibbled her salad. She was afraid to eat too much because the dress was liable to rip and expose her at any moment.

By the time they'd finished their main courses, everyone knew where Nita had grown up, the school she went to, her favorite everything, the kinds and names of all the pets she'd ever had, what she was allergic to, and that she adored Ron. Also by this time Hermione was…for lack of a better term…completely hammered and the high pitched non-stop chatter became a gentle hum.

During desert, she slid her chair as close to Draco's as she could. She'd ordered some chocolate mousse and was feeding it to him as Nita rambled on about how she'd lived with her Muggle cousins in England for a summer and knew pretty much everything about Muggle life. Draco almost began to object to being fed but quickly realized that the angle she was at gave him a clear view of her cleavage. Ron looked disgusted. This pleased Hermione.

Hermione combed Draco's hair with her fingers and caressed his leg. He shifted his weight as she moved her hand farther and farther up his thigh. She pulled her body closer to him and as her mouth moved slowly closer and closer to his, she…leaned a bit too far and tumbled out of her chair, over Draco and onto the floor.

"You're quite a clumsy drunk," Draco smiled, tossing back the last of the wine in his glass. He made no move to help Hermione. She was lying on her back, using her elbows to hold her up. Draco tilted his head and his smiled grew. "You weren't lying about the underwear…"

"I think we're going to go," Ron said. He got up and pulled Hermione to her feet. "Bye, Hermione." He took Nita's hand and left without a word to Draco.

Hermione slumped down in her chair. The Make-Ron-Jealous plan hadn't gone so well. She felt stupid and a little sick. She wasn't sure if the sickness was from her embarrassment or from the alcohol. Either way, the room began to spin and her mouth began to water. She clamped her hand over her mouth and ran for the ladies' room.

Draco took another bite of the mousse and muttered, "_That's_ attractive."


	12. What's the matter?

**Hello. I meant to put a note on the last chapter but forgot. I'm back, as you can see. It's been a while, I know. But I'm going to try and be a better fanfic-er and update a lot more often. I foresee a lot of free time for me this summer so at least some writing will come out of it. Thanks to all who didn't give up on this story! Please review.**

**Chapter 12: What's the matter?**

Draco entered the dining room the next morning to find Hermione slumped in a chair at the table. She had a cup of hot tea between her hands. Last nights mascara was smeared across her eyes, which were bloodshot. Her hair was everywhere, sticking up in unimaginable angles.

"How are you this lovely morning?" Draco asked more loudly than necessary.

"Stop screaming," Hermione whined. "I have a hangover from hell."

"I can't imagine why," Draco smirked.

"Shut up."

"Aren't you going to be late for work?"

"I'm not going," she replied. "I sent an owl. I'm too sick to work."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Draco said in a mock tone. "I get to spend the day with my wifey."

"Shut up," Hermione said again. She drank some of her tea and began to massage her temples.

"So," Draco said, "are you going to explain what that whole fiasco last night was about?"

"No," she replied. She felt stupid enough without Draco teasing and making fun of her said stupidity. How could she have sunk so low? Why couldn't she let Ron be happy? Her jealousy had gotten the best of her and now she regretted it. What was she trying to accomplish by throwing herself at her husband? What kind of woman does that? She and Ron were over. They tried to be together and it fell apart. She was going to have to accept that.

Plus, she really had no right to try and break Ron and Nita up. After all, Ron really thought that she and Draco were married. What choice did he have but to move on and fine someone else? Hermione just wished she could explain everything to him so that he would wait on her. She only had ten more months of marriage left (and counting). If he could just wait for her, they could try to work it out. Unfortunately, Hermione couldn't tell Ron any of this.

"I'm just glad mother wasn't here to see you last night," Draco said. "You really should probably lay off the sauce, Hermione. You're a very sloppy drunk. You fell twice going up the stairs and your dress was almost a tube top by the time we got to the bedroom. I will admit that I wasn't too upset about that. Those panties really are something."

Hermione blushed. "You didn't take advantage of me, did you?"

"Oh, I should have," Draco said. "I actually considered it. Your little performance at dinner had given me more than enough confidence that I'd be able to persuade you into sex…or at least a blow job. Unfortunately, you passed out as soon as we got into the room. I may be a dick, but I'm not that vile."

"Well," Hermione sighed, "I guess I should thank you for that. And where the hell is your mother anyway. I haven't seen her around for ages."

"She's in Italy," Draco replied. "She's been gone for a couple weeks now."

"Oh." Hermione was slightly embarrassed to have not noticed Narcissa's absence earlier. In all honesty she did have more important things to worry about than the whereabouts of her less than pleasant mother-in-law.

"Well," Draco said, changing the subject, "I'm glad you're not going to work today. I want to do some shopping and I want you to come with me."

"Do I have to?" Hermione cried. "I'm ill."

"I'd like for you to come with me," Draco said.

"I don't want to."

"Fine," he sighed. "I guess I'll just go by myself."

After Draco left, Hermione took a long hot shower. She let the steaming water run down her body and she couldn't remember the last time she felt so relaxed. By the time she was done her headache had almost completely faded. She decided to go visit Harry.

When she got to the apartment Harry and Ginny shared, she knocked on the door. Ginny was the one who answered. "Hey, Hermione," she grinned. Ginny hugged her and let her into the living room. Harry was sitting on the couch massaging his foot. He grimaced every time he touched the middle.

"What happened?" Hermione asked, sitting down next to him.

"Quidditch injury," Ginny answered.

"Yeah," Harry groaned. "Ron went to block the Quaffle and got me instead."

"He hit you that hard?"

"Oh, no," Harry said, looking over at Ginny. "Ron just threw me off balance. Little miss eager her saw the Snitch and knocked me off my broom."

"I said I'm sorry a thousand times," Ginny said. "Quit being a baby."

"You want me to look at it?" Hermione asked.

"Nah," Harry said. "I'll be okay. It's just sore. What brings you here, Hermione?"

"Oh, well," she said, pausing to think for a moment. Come to think of it, she wasn't exactly sure why she'd come over. "I had some free time so I thought I'd stop by."

"Well, I'm glad you did," Ginny said. "We wanted to tell you that we're having a birthday party for you. Since you're the whole reason for the party, I thought you should know."

"Oh, crap," Hermione exclaimed. "I forgot; my birthday _is_ next week."

"We didn't," Ginny smiled, taking Harry's foot from him and massaging it. "And we want you to bring Draco."

"No, we don't," Harry said. Ginny pushed her thumbs roughly into the sore part of Harry's foot and he screamed. "Yes, yes, yes we do!"

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Ginny," Hermione said.

"It'll be fine," Ginny said. "I'll make sure my darling brother and boyfriend behave themselves. I, for one, would love to see how Draco's changed. I believe you that he's a different person. After all, you're married to him and we're going to have to get used to the idea sometime. He's in the family forever now."

Hermione smiled at the fact that Ginny considered her family. Deep down she felt horrible. She was lying to everyone. She wanted to come clean and tell Ginny that Draco in fact would not be in the family forever. He'd be out of the family in a matter of months.

But she couldn't.

"We'll be there," Hermione said. "Both of us."

"If you happen to trip Malfoy down the stairs on your way out," Harry said, "it wouldn't be such a terrible thing." Ginny squeezed Harry's foot again and he wrenched it away from her with a painful look on his face. "Jesus, woman!"

………………..

When Hermione left Harry's it was almost dark. She got home and went upstairs and put on her baggiest, most comfortable sweatpants and found an old white button-up shirt of Draco's. She settled down on the couch in front of a fire and read her book. She didn't even notice when Draco came in. He stood behind the couch and cleared his throat to let her know he was present.

"Hi," she said, closing the book.

"Hello," he replied. "How was your day?"

"It was fine," she replied. "I went to see Harry and Ginny. They want to throw me birthday party next Saturday."

"It's your birthday?"

"Well," she replied, scratching her nose, "my birthday's actually on Thursday, but the party's on Saturday."

"Why didn't you tell me your birthday was so soon?" Draco asked. "Now I seem like the jerk of a husband who forgot his wife's birthday."

"I'm telling you now," she said. "Plus, I forgot myself. It's not a big deal. You don't have to get me anything. But…you do have to come with me to the party."

"Are Potter and Weasley okay with that?" Draco asked.

"No," she answered truthfully. "But they'll get over it."

"Alright," he said. He came around the couch and sat next to her. "You know, for a Mud--Muggle-born, you look damn good in my shirt."

She smiled. "Why Mr. Malfoy…was that your attempt at a compliment?"

He nodded. Hermione sat up a little straighter and put her book on the table next to the couch. She rolled her wedding ring around on her finger nervously. "So what's on the agenda for tonight?"

"I got you something," he said. He pulled a bag from behind the couch and handed it to her. Hermione peeked inside and grinned. Inside was a bottle of blackberry wine, her favorite.

"Thank you," she said. "But…you said you didn't know my birthday's coming up. Why'd you get me this?"

"Does a man have to have a reason to buy his wife a gift?" Draco asked.

"That is so…cheesy," Hermione laughed.

"I know," Draco said. "It was worth a shot. I just saw it and thought you'd like it considering you're a raging alcoholic."

"I am not," she argued. "Do you want to have some with me?"

"Sure."

"You start some music," Hermione said. "I'll get the glasses."

Draco pulled out his wand and started some music. Hermione pulled out hers and conjured up two glasses. They looked at each other and laughed.

"Well, that was difficult," Hermione said. Draco poured the wine into the glasses and lifted his into the air. Hermione followed suit and awaited Draco's toast.

"To our marriage," Draco said. "May it end dramatically and emotionally in public with at least ten eyewitnesses."

"Hear, hear," Hermione laughed. They sipped their wine as Draco told Hermione what all he bought and how his day had been. He was proud to tell her that three women came onto him, and even though it was difficult he turned all three of them down.

"Thank you," Hermione said. "It's good to know my husband can go out to buy milk without bringing home a cow."

Draco laughed. They talked on and on. It was almost as if they were old friends. Hermione was actually enjoying his company. After an hour and a half, they'd finished the entire bottle of wine.

Draco had stopped talking and was staring at Hermione's face. "What are you looking at?" she asked, self-consciously.

"You're really beautiful," Draco said.

"Shut up."

"You are." He stroked the side of her face with his finger tips. He held her chin in his hand and pulled her face toward his. Hermione wanted to stop him. She wanted to smack his hand away and run up to her room. But she couldn't. She'd lost all ability to move. Draco was going to kiss her. He was going to _really _kiss her. It wasn't for practice. It wasn't to show other people they were in love. It was because he _wanted _to kiss her. When his mouth reached hers she could do nothing but melt into it. Every passionate move his lips made, she returned it.

Then, something came over her. She didn't know whether it was the months of sexual frustration that had built up or the pleasant evening they'd had, but Hermione couldn't hold back anymore. She grabbed the hem of Draco's shirt and pulled it over his head, breaking their contact for only a moment. She ran her hands down his chest, over his stomach, and around to his smooth back.

Draco asked no questions, but began to undo the buttons of his white shirt that covered Hermione's body. When he'd reached the last button he slowly pulled and let the shirt fall off her shoulders. He kissed her neck and she felt a tingle of sensation run through her body. Draco slid his hands over Hermione's breasts and massaged them through her bra. He reached around and began to unclasp it.

All Hermione could think was, _I'm doing this. I'm going to fuck Draco Malfoy._ Then, out of nowhere, Ron's face entered the blackness behind her closed eyelids. She tried to shake it off but the red-headed bastard wouldn't go away.

Just as Draco got the clasp of her bra undone Hermione pulled away, holding her bra on with one hand. She grabbed Draco's white shirt from the floor.

"What's the matter?" Draco asked, confused.

"I'm on my period!" Hermione called, as she ran up the stairs to their bedroom.


	13. Nice tits

**Chapter 13: Nice tits**

All that night Hermione couldn't sleep. She lay in the bed waiting for Draco to come up. He never did. It was just as well. She'd planned on faking sleep if he had decided to come to the bedroom. Even if she wanted to talk to him, she didn't know what to say. _I'm on my period? _she repeated over and over in her head. _I'm not on my period…why did I say that? Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

She was a little worried that Draco never came up. She assumed he slept in a guest room. Was he angry with her? Or maybe he was just being courteous to save her some embarrassment. Either way, she was going to have to see him in morning. She finally fell into an uneasy sleep three hours before she had to be up for work.

…………..

"Hermione?"

"Mmmm…"

"Hermione?"

"Mnnnmhmnn…"

"Hermione!"

"Wha…!" Hermione sat straight up in bed. She looked around. Her vision was blurred with not enough sleep. She finally focused on Draco, who was sitting next to her on the bed. "Oh. You scared me."

"I just thought I should wake you up before you're late for work."

"Oh my god!" she cried, jumping out of the bed. "What time is it?"

"Calm down," Draco said. "It's only seven. You've got plenty of time."

"Whew." Hermione collapsed onto the end of the bed. She buried her face in her hands and moaned.

"Did you sleep well?" Draco asked.

"Does it seem like I did?" she snapped, a little more harshly than she meant to. The combination of unfulfilled sexual frustration and lack of sleep did not help to make Hermione a morning person.

"No," Draco replied. "I didn't either."

"Can…can we just pretend like last night never happened?" Hermione asked.

"If that's what you want."

"That's what I want."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Hermione got up and got ready for work.

She was eating some cereal at the dinning room table when Draco came in. "I have my first hearing with the Ministry on Monday."

"For what?" she asked.

"To show them the progress I'm making into re-attaining my position as a worthy citizen of the magical community," Draco recited in a monotone voice.

"Oh."

"You have to come with me," Draco said.

"Is it absolutely necessary?"

"Yes," Draco said, as if that were obvious. "You're the only reason I'm not in prison right now."

"Fine," she sighed. "I'll get the day off work." She got up and gathered her things to leave. As she was walking out the door Draco called after her.

"Hey, Hermione."

"Yeah?"

"Nice tits."

……………

At St. Mungo's Hermione had a ton of paperwork to catch up on from her sick day. She got through most of it before lunch. She was proud of this because she was also able to make her rounds. Her patients were pretty cooperative and there were no serious cases, so the day wasn't too bad. Even though work wasn't horrible she was still glad it was Friday because she'd have the whole weekend to relax.

She stopped by Harry's on the way home to find out when and where the party was going to be. They'd decided to have it at Harry's at eight next Saturday night.

She got home and fell onto the bed. Draco wasn't downstairs, but Hermione had no desire to find him. She was still embarrassed and almost sick about the night before. She wasn't purposefully avoiding him, but she wasn't trying to find him either.

She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew she was being awoken again by Draco. "Let me sleep," she groaned groggily.

"You've been asleep for eleven hours," Draco whispered. "I want to show you something."

Hermione begrudgingly pulled herself out of bed. "Alright, but I'm not changing out of my pajamas," she said, without opening her eyes.

"You're not in pajamas," Draco laughed. "You're in your scrubs."

Hermione opened her eyes and looked down. He was right. She'd fallen asleep without even changing. "Well," she yawned. "In that case, I'm going to now change into my pajamas."

She made Draco stand by the door while she did this. "You know," Draco called from the hall, "most husbands get to watch their wives change."

"That's because they've already seen them naked," Hermione called back as she pulled her shirt over her head.

"If I had it my way," Draco said, "we wouldn't even be having this conversation because I'd be on the bed watching you strip."

"First of all," Hermione said, opening the door, "you will never see me naked. Second of all, why the hell am I awake at this ungodly hour on a Saturday?"

"First of all," Draco retorted, "we'll see about that. I doubt you'll be able to resist my glorious body and charms much longer. Second of all, follow me."

Hermione trailed Draco outside and to the back yard. She yawned several times on the way and got a cold chill from the cold morning dew of the grass on her feet. They went to the backyard where Draco took a broomstick from the garden shed, which was actually the size of a small house. He threw one leg over the broomstick. "Hop on," he said.

Hermione got on the back and held on to Draco's arms. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

He kicked off and they flew into the air. It was a short trip. They landed on the roof of Malfoy manor. There was a love seat sitting there, facing the sunrise. Draco led Hermione to it and they both sat down. It was then that Hermione realized why he'd brought her there. The sun had not yet shown itself above the trees but the sky was beautiful. Right above them it was light blue with a few clouds. It then faded into a deep purple which melted into a musky pink and finally a light hint of yellow traced the outline of the trees.

"Wow," she whispered. "Draco, this is amazing."

"I know."

There was a pause. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Hermione asked, not looking away from the sky.

"Excuse me?"

"Well," she began, "you're being weird. Buying me gifts, giving me compliments, bringing me _here_. It's just really strange. It's like you're treating me like I'm your wife or something."

"You are my wife."

"Yes," she said, a little annoyed. "But you're treating me like I'm your _real_ wife."

"Truthfully?" Draco asked.

"Yes," Hermione replied. "I truthfully want to know what the hell is wrong with you."

"Well," he said, "you've been a really good sport about all of this and I thought it might be…_nice_…if I made it a little more enjoyable for you."

Hermione looked over at him. "Really?" she questioned.

"Yes," he said, "really."

"Since when is Draco Malfoy _nice_?" she asked.

"Eh, don't get used to it."

"You do realize I'm not just doing this for you, right?" she said. "I'm getting quite a bit of money out of this situation."

"Oh, I know," he replied. "And I'm not doing all of this just for you."

"You're not?"

"No," he said, "I figure it won't hurt my chances of getting laid."

Hermione slapped his arm, but she couldn't help but laugh. They looked over at each other and their eyes locked. In that moment, something strange happened to both of them. They both burst into hysterical fits of laughter. They weren't able to stop until the sun had completely risen.


	14. Hell, it's almost unnatural

**Chapter 14: Hell, it's almost unnatural**

Hermione followed Draco through the halls of the Ministry of Magic. It was Monday and they were on their way to Draco's first hearing. They reached the room and Draco opened the door. Hermione followed him. She was a little worried. She had no idea what they were going to ask her. She was afraid she'd have to lie. She didn't want to lie. She was bad at lying. If she had to lie, Draco was going down.

There was a panel of witches and wizards in front of them. The Minister was in the middle. Hermione just stood there, waiting for instructions.

"Good morning, Mr. Malfoy," the Minister said. "And to you Mrs. Malfoy," he nodded toward Hermione. "We're going to ask that we speak to you separately; so if you could, Mrs. Malfoy, please step outside."

Hermione did as she was told. She had no idea how long she stood in the hallway. There were no clocks and she didn't have a watch. Finally, Draco opened the door and stepped out. He held the door open for her and Hermione re-entered the room.

"Please, have a seat," the minister said. She sat in the single chair that was facing the panel. "Alright, we won't beat around the bush. We're just going to ask you a few questions about your husband. Just answer them honestly and we'll have you out of here in no time."

Hermione nodded, twisting her wedding ring around her finger.

"Has your husband shown any interest in the Dark Arts in the time that you've been with him?"

"Not at all."

"Have you come upon any Dark artifacts, any magical tools for the Dark Arts, or anything of the like hidden in your home?"

"No."

"Does your husband ever talk about Dark magic, referring to his past or to the present?"

"No."

"Has he had anyone in the house that looks strange, possibly an ex-Death Eater?"

Hermione thought about the woman Draco had gotten "oral assistance" from. She might have been a whore, but Hermione was pretty sure she wasn't a Death Eater. "No, he hasn't."

"Has your husband given you any reason to think that he might want to return to the Dark Arts? Maybe talked about You-Know-Who, or reminisced about his old ways?"

"No. Never."

"Very well," said the Minister. Everyone else was scribbling on the parchment they had in front of them. "Thank you for your cooperation, Mrs. Malfoy. I hope you have a good day."

"Thank you," Hermione said, getting up.

………………………….

It was Thursday. Hermione sat in the cafeteria, nibbling on some carrots she'd brought from home. Trisha, one of her co-workers, came up and sat across from her. "Happy birthday," she said smiling and tossing her long blond hair over her shoulder.

"Thanks," Hermione replied.

"So," Trisha began, "what's your husband doing for your birthday?"

"Nothing," Hermione said. "I mean, we're going to my birthday party on Saturday, but he's not doing anything special."

Trisha looked disappointed. "Why not?"

"Oh, it's not a big deal," Hermione said. "I'm only turning twenty. I don't need—"

"Hi, honey," Draco interrupted. He was standing at the edge of the table holding a chocolate cupcake with a single lit candle in it. Trisha and Hermione were looking up at Draco. Trisha had a look of pure adoration. Hermione had a look of pure nausea. "Well, blow out the candle," Draco urged. "Make a wish."

Hermione put her carrot down, thought for a moment, and then blew the flame out. "What did you wish for?" Trisha asked.

"A less embarrassing husband," Hermione answered.

"I think it's sweet," Trisha said, staring at Draco and smiling.

"Could we have a minute, Trisha?" Hermione asked. Trisha got up and walked away, winking at Draco before leaving.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione whispered.

"Can't a husband come visit his wife on her birthday?"

"A husband can, but not _my_ husband," Hermione snapped. "Why do you think being a good husband means doing the cheesiest things?"

"It's not cheesy," Draco replied. "It's sweet and adorable. At least the blond thinks so." He nodded in the direction Trisha had gone. "Maybe we could talk her into a threesome."

"I'm going to ignore that comment," Hermione said as she pulled the candle out of the cupcake and licked the icing off of it. "Well, when we get divorced you can marry Trisha and give her a cupcake on her birthday."

"No thanks," Draco said. "I prefer brunettes. That's why I married you, darling; for those bushy brown locks of yours."

Hermione made a face. "So, what are you really doing here?"

"I wanted to know what you wanted for a gift," Draco replied.

"Get me whatever you want," Hermione said. "I don't care." Then she laughed and said in false swooning voice, "I'm sure I'll love whatever it is because it's from you."

"No, I need to get you the best gift," Draco said.

"Why?"

"Because, as your husband it's my duty to get you what you really want," he said. "So, what is it? A book? Some kind of perfume? Slutty lingerie?"

"I thought this was supposed to be for _me_," Hermione said. She thought for a moment. She had no idea what she _really _wanted. "I really don't know," she said truthfully. "Just get me whatever you want and I'll pretend like it's the best gift ever."

"Alright," Draco sighed. He stood up. "I'll see you at home, then." He bent down and pecked Hermione on the lips. He leaned in again and stuck his tongue in her mouth.

"Ugh!" She pushed him away. Draco laughed as he walked out of the cafeteria.

………………………

As Hermione and Draco walked up the stairs to Harry and Ginny's apartment, Hermione was instructing Draco on how he was to behave.

"You are not to insult any of my friends," she said. "Don't be rude, don't criticize, and don't act like you're better than everyone. In fact, it's probably best if you don't talk at all."

"But I am better than everyone else," he said.

Hermione chose to ignore this. "Stay away from Harry and Ron, as they would love any excuse to throw you off the balcony. Be polite and act like you're a nice person."

Draco nodded. "Fine, fine. I understand. I'll be on my best behavior."

"That's not good enough," Hermione said. "Be a saint, and you may live. Also," she added, "don't go getting too husbandy around everyone." They'd reached the door to the apartment but Hermione had not opened it yet.

"What?"

"Don't try to kiss me or touch me too much," she explained. "They won't like that."

"Fine," he said. "I don't see why it should matter. You're not with Weasley anymore."

"No, Draco, I'm not," Hermione said. "But the fact that it's _you_...just trust me. You don't want to give them a reason to despise you even more."

"You're my wife," Draco persisted. "I have every right to touch you."

"In Harry and Ron's eyes, you don't," Hermione said, frustrated. "It's hard enough for them to accept a normal guy touching me, let alone you. Ron and I have history together and Harry's like a brother to me."

"Did you just call me abnormal?" Draco asked.

"It's like talking to a gigantic, overly-egotistical child," Hermione mumbled. Ready?" she asked. Draco nodded. Hermione knocked once on the door and pushed it open. She was thankful that there weren't too many people there.

Ron and Harry were out on the balcony. Ginny was in the kitchen making mixed drinks. Nita was sitting on a stool in the corner, looking displeased that no one was making an effort to come listen to her talk. Luna Lovegood was sitting cross-legged on the floor, swaying back and forth to the music. Becka, a girl that Hermione worked with (who she actually liked) was sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette. George was sitting next to her, mumbling something in her ear.

Hermione couldn't help but think how strangely George looked without his twin, Fred, at his side. It'd been two years since he had died, but it was still hard to think about Fred in the past tense. Hermione cleared her throat and tried to shake the unhappy thoughts from her mind. No one had noticed that they had arrived, so Hermione yelled over the music, "Hello!"

Everyone looked up. Ron and Harry re-entered the living room through the glass sliding door. "The birthday girl is here!" Ginny yelled. She ran over and hugged Hermione. "Hello, Draco," she said. "It's nice to see you."

"You too," Draco said. "Umm…"

"_Ginny_," Hermione said irritably. "Why can't you remember that?"

"Well, I've only ever called her 'Weasley's sister' before this, Hermione," Draco answered, almost as irritably.

"Oh, he can call me whatever," Ginny said with a smile. "Except Ginevra. Come in, come in…Do you want a drink?"

"Please," Hermione answered desperately.

Once everyone was seated around the living room, Ginny brought out the gifts for Hermione. "Presents first, food's less important."

"I'm starving," Ron whined.

"You'll be fine, now shut up," Ginny said. "This is from me and Harry," she handed Hermione a small box wrapped in blue paper.

Hermione ripped it open and a grin spread upon her face. She pulled the gift out of the box. It was a necklace made of runes. Each piece had a different symbol on it. "Oh, it's beautiful. Thank you!"

Hermione went through the gift routine. Along with the necklace, she'd gotten a gift certificate to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes from George, a year's subscription to _The Quibbler _from Luna (who was now the editor), a set of emerald scrubs from Becka, and a set of potion ingredients from Ron and Nita. There was only one person she hadn't received a gift from and that was her husband. It seemed that everyone had noticed this because they were all staring at Draco.

"Well, Hermione," Draco said, "I couldn't think of anything to get you that wouldn't make you hit me…"

"Oh, that's okay," Hermione said. She was a little disappointed. She'd been curious to see what Draco would come up with.

"No," Draco continued, "I got you something. It's kind of…stupid…I don't know…I usually spend a lot of money on gifts for…well, you're not the kind of person who…"

"Just give her the damn thing," Ron interrupted. "I'm hungry over here."

Draco glared at Ron, but pulled a rectangular gift wrapped in gold paper out from under his chair. He handed it to Hermione. She smiled at him and gently ripped it open. Inside it was a simple silver picture frame. Inside the picture frame was a photo that Hermione couldn't remember being taken. It was of her at the lake, the weekend she and Draco had gone to take pictures. The sunset was in the background: yellows and pinks and purples all colliding together in a way that only the sky can produce. In the foreground stood the silhouettes of a tree and Hermione, overlooking the water.

"Oh," she sighed. "Draco, it's beautiful." She smiled at him. Forgetting all the rules, she leaned over and kissed Draco on the lips.

"Okay," Ron said abruptly. "Presents are opened, let's eat."

After they were all full and had a few drinks in their systems, Hermione was pulled into Harry and Ginny's room by Ron.

After closing the door behind them, Ron said, "So, you're serious about that prick?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Ron stated. "I thought this was all just some kind of joke or something. I didn't think you actually cared about him." He seemed angry. Hermione had been afraid of this.

"Ron…" she began.

"No," he said. "Hermione, what is it going to take to make you see that this is a mistake?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "You don't understand everything about our relationship, Ron. I know it's weird. I know it's hard to handle. Hell, it's almost unnatural. But this is how it is, and you're going to have to accept that."

"Well," Ron said, "what if I told you that I still love you? Would that change anything?"

"I still love you, too, Ron. But this is…"

"No, I'm still in love with you, Hermione."

Hermione was stunned. "What?"

"I'm still in love with you," he said. "I…I thought that if you were ever to get married that it'd be to me."

Hermione was suddenly angry herself. The next sentence she spoke very slowly. "Well, then why the _fuck_ did you break up with me, Ron?"

Ron sighed. "I…I don't know. I mean, it was hard, Hermione. It was just too fucking hard. You were always working and I never got to see you…"

"Oh, you're still pulling that shit," Hermione said, almost yelling. "The same argument from the night we broke up. We're adults now, Ron. You know what adults do? _They get the fuck over it!_ I was starting my career; I had no choice but to work my ass off. You think for one second that it didn't bother me that I couldn't spend time with you? You threw that little pity party and decided out of nowhere that you didn't want to be with me anymore."

"That's not what I'm saying," Ron said, defensively. "My point is that…maybe instead of breaking up…we should have…moved in together."

Hermione laughed, outraged. "Well, it's a damn good time for you to come to that conclusion…now that I'm married to someone else!"

Ron was quiet for a minute. "I'm sorry, Hermione. But I know that Malfoy can't…it can't be like what we had."

Tears were brimming in Hermione's eyes. "It's a little too late to think of what we had. It's in the past, Ron. We can't go back and change it. I'm…I'm happy with Draco. You left me and I…now, I'm leaving…"

She turned to walk out the door. Ron grabbed her arm and pulled her into himself. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forcefully on the lips. Tears were now streaming down Hermione's face as she pushed against Ron's chest, trying to pull away.

Neither of them heard the door open.

What broke their contact was an outraged scream from Nita, who had come into the room to see why Ron had left her alone for so long. She gave a furious look to both of them, turned on her heel and walked away. Hermione and Ron followed, hurriedly.

Nita was grabbing her bag from the kitchen. "Nita…" Ron began.

"No," she said, draining what was left of the alcohol from her glass. It was weird to see Nita's usually elated face contorted into such revulsion. "Don't even…" She turned to Draco, who was sitting at the kitchen table beside Ginny. "Just so you know, your _wife_ was in there kissing my boyfriend."

Without another word, Nita stormed out of the apartment. Everyone sat in silence, staring at the door that she had slammed on her way out. Ron didn't seem to know what to do. He gave a pained look to Hermione and solemnly went after Nita.


	15. I thought you hated cats

**Chapter 15: I though you hated cats**

Hermione looked around the room. Everyone was staring at her. She closed her eyes, trying to fight back the urge to cry even harder. She opened them and Draco was standing in front of her.

"Can I talk to you in the other room?" he asked. She nodded silently and followed him into Harry and Ginny's room. No one else made a sound. As Draco shut the door Hermione heard Harry ask if anyone wanted a shot.

"How long has this been going on?" Draco began.

"What?"

"You and Weasley."

Hermione sighed. "There's nothing going on."

"I can't believe you jumped all over me for Clarissa and you've been fucking Weasley this entire time."

"Oh, she has a name, does she?"

"Yes, she has a name," Draco said. "And don't change the subject."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Hermione said, frustrated. "We haven't been sleeping together. Ron was just telling me that he still has feelings for me and got carried away. And don't act like this is anything like you receiving a blow job from some whore in _our _bed. I loved Ron. In case you've forgotten, this is a _fake _marriage. If you're mad, you should be mad that this happened in public…not that I've kissed someone. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous."

"Me? Jealous? Of a Weasley?" Draco said, looking angry. "I'm not jealous of Weasley, Hermione. I have more than he will ever have. I'm wealthy. I'm good-looking…and I even have the woman he's in love with. I'm just upset that you'd go and do something so stupid in front of so many people. From now on I'd like it if you and Weasley didn't see each other anymore."

"You're such an asshole," Hermione said. "I don't have to take orders from you. Husband or not, you have no right to tell me who I can and cannot see. You have no idea how hard this is for me…for us. Before we got married Ron and I were trying to work things out. My life could have been completely different. Then you come along, get me drunk, and put a ring on my finger!" She jerked the wedding ring from her hand and threw it on the bed. It flew into the air and jammed itself back onto her left hand. Hermione screamed in agitation. "I want you to go."

"I'm not done—"

"I don't give a flying fuck if you're done or not," Hermione said. "I am. I'm done. I want you to leave."

Draco gave her an incredulous look. "Fine," he said. He turned, pulled the door open and stormed out. Hermione sat on the bed and buried her face in her hands. Ginny came in and sat beside her. "Everyone's left," she said.

"Thank you," Hermione mumbled into her palms.

"You want a drink?" Ginny asked.

"God, yes," Hermione replied. They went into the living room to find it empty aside from the heap of presents on the coffee table, the wrapping paper strewn across the room, and Harry passed out face down on the recliner with his legs straddling the foot rest.

Hermione laughed and asked, "How long were we in there?"

"Not that long," Ginny said, looking down at Harry. She pointed her wand at the kitchen and two bottles of firewhiskey flew into their hands. "But every time he poured someone a shot, he took one too. And everyone wanted a shot." She smiled at her boyfriend, stroked his hair, and then smacked him on the head with her wand.

"Whazzah?" Harry mumbled into the chair.

"Go to the bedroom," Ginny said. "Hermione and I are going to have girl talk."

Harry pulled himself up slowly, his eyes were barely open and there were red markings on his face in the same pattern as the design on the chair. He put his arms around Ginny sloppily and pulled her close. "Iluvzou," he mumbled. Ginny laughed and pulled away. She kissed Harry on the nose and walked him to the bedroom. When he was safely inside she shut the door and sat on the couch across from Hermione.

"What am I going to do, Ginny?"

"I don't know," Ginny replied, taking a sip of her firewhiskey. "I guess you need to ask yourself who your heart belongs to. Do you still love Ron?"

"Yes," Hermione answered. "I do. I love him."

"Do you still love Draco?"

Hermione paused. She wasn't sure how to answer this question. Truthfully, she didn't love Draco. In the time they'd gotten to really know each other, she'd begun to see him as a different person than the one they had went to school with. He really had changed. But love? Did she love Draco? No. She didn't. But she couldn't tell Ginny that. So, keeping with the lie she answered, "Yes." She took a long drink from her bottle so she wouldn't have to look Ginny in the eyes.

"Well," Ginny said, "I guess you're going to have to figure out who you love more. I mean, you don't want to stay married to someone you don't really love, do you? It'd be so…fake."

"You have no idea," Hermione sighed. She finished drinking her firewhiskey and got up. I think I'm going to go home now."

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked. "You can stay here if you want."

"No," Hermione said, "I need to go home and talk to my husband."

After saying goodbye to Ginny, Hermione decided to take the long way home. When she got there, she expected Draco to be asleep upstairs. When she entered their bedroom he wasn't there. _Probably off visiting Clarissa, _she thought bitterly.

She went downstairs just to check and see if he was home. He wasn't in the kitchen or the dining room. She was going to give up after looking in the den, but that's where she found him. He was asleep on the couch in front of the fireplace. One arm was hanging limply off the side of the couch and the other was resting gently on top of Crookshanks, who was asleep on Draco's stomach.

Hermione smiled, scratched Crookshanks on the head, and gently stroked Draco's hair before going upstairs to bed.

…………………………

The next morning, Hermione decided to go see her parents because she hadn't seen them on her birthday. She entered the living room through the fireplace. No one was in the room, which was probably a good thing considering she always scared her mother half to death when she Flooed.

"Mum! Dad!" Hermione called. Her father walked in from the kitchen, thankfully fully clothed this time.

"Hey, sweet pea!" he said, giving her a one-armed hug. "How was your birthday?"

"Interesting," Hermione replied. "Where's mum at?"

"Oh, she's at the store," said Mr. Granger. "We're having dinner tonight for you for your birthday."

"Well, thanks for inviting me," Hermione said with a smile. "Is mum still mad at me?"

"Oh, no," Mr. Granger said, sitting down on the couch. "She's fine. I should warn you though. She's inviting Laurie."

"Why?"

"She wants you two to make up."

"Never going to happen, Dad," Hermione said, sitting next to him. "We're never going to get along. I wish mum would just let it go."

An hour later Hermione left. She and Draco were to be at her parents' house at six that night.

…………………..

Hermione had expected to have a long drawn out talk with Draco about everything that had happened at her party. Instead of this, they pretended that nothing at all had happened. This suited Hermione just fine, as she had no desire to relive that night.

As they went up the walkway to the door, Draco grabbed Hermione's hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back. Although no words were spoken, she knew that this was his way of telling her he was there to support her through the inevitable arguments that were about to happen.

When everyone had gotten settled in and the food had been served, Hermione made an effort not to make eye-contact with Laurie. She twirled her spaghetti around her fork and ate in silence.

"I have an announcement to make," Laurie said, looking directly at Hermione. "Well, as you all know…Tim and I have been trying to have a baby…and well, I'm pregnant!"

"Oh, that's wonderful, Laurie," Mrs. Granger said, smiling. "Isn't it wonderful, Hermione?"

"Just grand," Hermione mumbled.

"You're not happy for me," Laurie said with a fake pout, although Hermione could see the victory in her eyes.

"Oh, I'm happy," Hermione said. "Happy that kid's going to have your crooked teeth and Tim's crooked nose." Laurie looked as though she'd been smacked in the face.

"Hermione, why would you say that?" Mrs. Granger asked.

"Because I'm sick of her trying to beat me," Hermione said. "Everything is not a competition, Laurie. Have a baby because you want kids, not because you want to be pregnant before me!"

Laurie looked furious. She put her fork down and said with a sneer, "Well, at least I got married because I'm in love, and not because my loser boyfriend broke up with me."

Hermione got up from the table and stormed outside. Draco got up and followed her. She was sitting on the steps of the porch with her face in her hands. Draco sat next to her and put his hand on her back.

"She doesn't know what she's talking about, Hermione," Draco said. "You know we're not married because he broke up with you. Weasley has no idea what he gave up. If I were him, I never would have let you go."

"I thought you hated cats," Hermione mumbled wetly into her hands.

"What?" Draco asked, very confused.

"You said you hated cats," Hermione explained, still not looking up. "And you were sleeping with Crookshanks last night."

"Oh," he replied. "Well, when I got home we spent some time together. He's not so bad."

Hermione looked at Draco for a moment and then threw herself at him. She began kissing him roughly; ravishing his mouth as though she were starving and his lips were her only source of food. After the initial shock Draco began to kiss her back. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Hermione gripped Draco's blond hair between her fingers and pulled it as she deepened the kiss.

This went on for a long while. The entire time, Hermione never stopped crying.

**Please review!**


	16. You know you want it

**Chapter 16: You know you want it**

The front door was pulled open. Hermione looked up, her hands still entwined in Draco's soft blonde hair. Mr. Granger was standing there, looking perplexed and somewhat relieved to find his daughter making out with her husband.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said, somewhat bashfully. "Just wanted to make sure everything's okay and that you didn't Dizaperate." Hermione smiled, her face still wet from her tears. "It's called Disapparating, Dad."

"Yeah, well, whatever…" Mr. Granger said, though he was smiling. "You want to come in and finish your dinner?"

"Yeah," Hermione answered. "Yeah, I think we will." She lowered her voice and added, "But if Laurie starts anything else, I'm not responsible for what my wand does on its own accord."

Hermione's father just nodded and walked back inside the house, leaving the door open. Hermione and Draco went back to the table. They finished their dinner with polite and happy conversation with her family, followed by chocolate cake for dessert. Laurie didn't say much at all.

……………………..

When they were home, Hermione kicked off her shoes and flopped down on their bed. Draco remained standing, looking at her. "So, do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Our fight? No, I don't want to talk about it."

"No, not that," Draco replied, waving his hand. "The incident on the porch."

"Oh," Hermione said, blushing a little. "Umm…what's there to talk about?"

"Oh, don't pretend I didn't turn you on," Draco smiled. "You were grabbing my hair like…"

"Okay, okay," Hermione said, turning scarlet now at the recapping of her loss of control. "You're a good kisser, okay? I was upset. I just needed some comfort."

"And that comfort had taken up camp in my mouth?"

"Apparently," Hermione mumbled, looking away.

"Well," Draco began, his eyes glinting. "Do you need some more comfort? I think there might be a bit more…in my pants."

"Seriously?" Hermione laughed. "You sound like schoolboy."

"You know you want it."

Hermione paused. She did want it. She wanted it more than Draco could possibly know, but she couldn't tell him that. "I thought we agreed that we weren't going to have sex?"

"Agreed?" Draco said. "There was no agreement. You made the decision for the both of us. I would never have agreed to no sex. It's against everything I stand for." He grinned.

"Nope," Hermione said. She had to stay strong. She could not break…

"We've been married for two months already!" Draco exclaimed. "I think it's time we consummate the damn thing already!"

"No…"

Strong. Very strong.

Draco stared at her inquisitively. She was strong. He was sexy, but her strength and will not to fuck her husband was much stronger than his sexiness. He tilted his head slightly and then he did the most unbelievably horrible, unforgivable thing. He took off his shirt.

Weak. She was very weak.

"Does that change your mind?" he asked, obviously reading her expression as her eyes raked over his pale upper body. The curved muscles of his shoulders and arms complimented the lines that cut his stomach into sections. He wasn't "ripped" but damn did he have a body. Weak…so weak. She had to clear her throat before she could answer. "No."

The corner of Draco's mouth lifted into a half-smile. He unbuttoned his pants with one hand and then unzipped them. Hermione couldn't help it; she was staring directly at his crotch. He rocked his hips playfully until his pants fell to the floor. He was wearing silky, grey boxers and Hermione could see that he was already getting hard. He was getting almost as turned on as she was by his little game.

"What about now?" he asked, taking a few steps closer to her. "No," she muttered, but no sound came out as she moved her lips. She cleared her throat again. Draco was now standing directly in front of her where she sat on the end of the bed. He grazed her face with his fingertips.

So weak…

_What the hell?_ she thought. If she was going to be weak, she might as well be as weak as possible. They _were_ married, after all. Everyone already thought they'd been sleeping together for two months anyway…so…why not?

Draco's fingers were now pulling her hair back so that he could lean down and kiss her neck. Her head lulled to the side and rested against the palm of his left hand. Her eyes parted a little and then she jumped back away from him and crawled to the head of the bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stunned by her sudden change of heart.

"What—the—fuck—is—that?" she asked fiercely, pointing at Draco's arm.

He looked down where she was pointing. "Fuck," he muttered.

"Why is that there?" she asked, her facial expression had gone from curious arousal to sheer disgust and anger in a matter of seconds.

"I can explain," Draco said quickly, instinctively putting his right hand over the snake and skull burned into his arm.

"Fuck your explanation," Hermione said. "You're still the same old Draco Malfoy, aren't you? You haven't changed a bit! You've tricked me this entire time. I can't believe--"

"No, Hermione!" Draco interrupted, desperately. "Listen to me! It's not what you think. It's burned into my arm; it's not that easy to get rid of! The Dark Lord's been gone for two years! It hasn't burned since then! How could I still be--"

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Hermione cut in. "Just because Voldemort's gone doesn't mean there aren't still dark wizards out there. What are you doing, trying to pass off as a decent person until your Death Eater buddies are out of Azkaban?"

"No! I--"

"Save it!" Hermione yelled. And then, "Get out."

"Hermione…"

"I said, get the fuck out!" she shouted. There was an appalled sneer on her face. "I don't want to look at you. You disgust me, Malfoy."

Draco gave a little twitch at her using his surname, as if he'd been knocked in the head by something heavy. It seemed to have hurt him. He looked as though he was going to retort, but instead he picked up his clothes from the floor and opened the bedroom door. His face was pink and there was a look of anguish mixed with regret. He looked back at her before he closed the door, but Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.

**I know this chapter is a little short, but don't worry, I'll update as soon as I can. Please review! That's my motivation! **


	17. Give me your arm

**Chapter 17: Give me your arm**

Hermione got up for work the next morning, dressed, and left as quickly as possible. She had no desire to see Draco. Even though she'd told him to leave the night before, she assumed he hadn't left the house. It was _his _house after all. She felt betrayed and foolish. How could she have ever believed that he had changed? She was so stupid. And to think, she'd almost slept with him. She was at least glad that it hadn't gone that far. She shuddered to imagine how she'd have felt if she found out that he was still a Death Eater at heart only after they'd had sex.

She'd figured out a plan. She was going to tell Draco that he could keep his money. She wanted a divorce, and she wanted it now. She hoped to have her things moved out of Malfoy Manor by the weekend.

Beyond her anger and repulsion, hidden deep within her thoughts, Hermione was a little confused. How had she never seen Draco's Dark Mark before? There were spells and potions that could cover it up, but they were only temporary. Hermione had lived with Draco for two months and never once saw a hint of the mark, nor had she witnessed him covering it up.

Hermione was pulled out of her reverie as soon as she'd entered St. Mungo's. Becka ran up to her with her arms laden with several files. "Thank Merlin you're here!" she said. Her hair was falling out of its bun and she looked flustered. "Trisha owled in sick this morning and we couldn't get anyone to cover her shift. I've had six blast-ended skrewt victims, three Muggles that have had an incident with a bewitched footstool with a bad temper, and there are two patients here who need scars removed! All of that already and it's not even lunchtime!"

Hermione blinked a few times to let it all sink in. Pushing her own problems of her despicable Death Eater husband out of her mind, she sighed sympathetically at Becka and asked, "Who haven't you taken care of yet?"

Becka hastily flipped through the files, glancing at the names. As she did this she said, "I've gotten all but the two scar patients and one of the Muggles. I think I might have to hex her before she'll let me…" She stopped abruptly and then said, "Oh, I didn't even realize…one of the scar patients is your husband."

She pulled the file out of the stack and held it out for Hermione. Hermione didn't take it. "Um, if you don't mind, I'd rather take the other patient."

Becka lifted her eyebrows but didn't ask why. She replaced Draco's file and pulled out another one. "It's a Miss Edgecomb," Becka said. "Good luck with that. It was a pretty good curse, whoever did it to her. It seems to be a few years old, too. I don't know why she's waited this long…"

Hermione took the file and walked to the front desk to get a quill. As she was walking, she noticed Draco sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting area that was in front of the front desk. Thankfully, he was looking at his hands and didn't see her.

Then, Hermione looked to the left of Draco. Sitting there was a girl with extremely curly, long hair. She was looking around absentmindedly at the room and did not see Hermione, either. Hermione had to suppress the urge to laugh. She glanced down at the file that was resting on her arm and saw that the name on it read: Edgecomb, Marietta.

"Becka!" she called behind her, still trying not to laugh. She glanced up one more time, catching a glimpse of the word SNEAK written out in large pimples, covered up with makeup, across Marietta's face.

"What?" Becka called back. She was stooped over the _Spellbook of Ethically Acceptable Magic for Healers_, trying to find a suitable spell to use on the relentless Muggle woman with three missing toes. "I can't find a spell to use on her. I can't wipe her memory until she lets me replace her toes."

"Just use the body-binding curse," Hermione said. "She won't be able to move while you fix her and then you can wipe her memory and remove the curse. She'll never know what hit her."

"What would I do without you, Hermione?" Becka said.

"Listen," Hermione said, "it turns out that I can't do Miss Edgecomb."

"Why not?" Becka asked, confused.

"Because," Hermione replied, a smile threatening to surface, "I'm the one who did that to her."

Becka did not try to control her laughter. She giggled and leaned around Hermione to get a good look at Marietta's face. "You think she'd be unhappy if you were assigned to remove it?"

"Probably," Hermione answered. "It's also one of the best curses I've ever pulled off, especially since I was fifteen at the time. I was damn proud of it; it seems a shame to undo it. So, I'll take my husband, okay?"

Becka agreed and after exchanging Marietta's file with Draco's, Hermione made her way to the waiting room. "Malfoy," she said, looking down at his file and not at him. She felt him trying to catch her eye as he walked toward her. Before walking away, Hermione met Marietta's gaze and smiled wickedly at her. Marietta frowned and looked away. She led Draco to an empty room and told him to sit on the cushioned table. He did.

"So," Hermione said coldly. "What do you want?"

"I want to get this removed," Draco said as he lifting the sleeve of his shirt to expose the Dark Mark Hermione had seen the night before. It was even more noticeable now. He obviously hadn't bothered to try and conceal it today.

"What, you feel like getting it removed is going to change anything?" Hermione asked.

"No," Draco said, exasperated. "Hermione, listen to me. I know…I know I should have told you that I hadn't gotten it removed yet. But I heard getting cursed scars removed hurts a lot…so…I thought I could just get by with concealing it. I understand why you're upset and why you doubt me, but it's the truth. I'm trying to do the right thing and I'm trying to put my past behind me. And so far, with you…I've been able to.

"The Dark Lord is gone. He's dead. He's never coming back. I never wanted to live that kind of life in the first place. I thought it was going to get me somewhere because it's what my father expected and…I know you might not believe or care about any of this…but, Hermione…I'm sorry. For everything. I was an asshole. Shit, I'm still an asshole. But I'm an asshole who's not a Dark wizard. Can you believe that?"

Hermione seemed to be thinking hard. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest and a look of pondering on her face. Eventually, she dropped her arms and her expression softened. "Look," she said as she walked across the room and picked up some ointment on a shelf, "I may have…overreacted a bit. I tend to do that sometimes…"

"That's an understatement," Draco mumbled.

Hermione ignored him. "I knew that you had the Dark Mark…and it didn't occur to me that you may have just never gone to get it removed. I'm sorry for that…but, if I'm going to stay married to you and continue to live with you…I need to know that you're not covering anything else up."

"Nothing," Draco said. "Except that I have a peephole in the bathroom and I watch you bathe." The corners of his mouth twitched.

Hermione couldn't help it, she smiled. "Give me your arm."

Draco held out his arm to her and she began to examine the damage. "Can I ask you something?" she said.

"Yeah."

"Why were you ever pulled into that shit? Being a Death Eater, I mean…"

"I was stupid," Draco answered. "I told you, since I was old enough to understand, my father made it clear that that's what I was to become. I always thought it'd be cool. It'd give me power once I was a _Death Eater._ People would fear me. They'd respect me. It wasn't until I actually got the mark and was introduced to the real thing when I realized how horrible it all was. I wasn't a murderer, and of course, that's the first assignment I got. If it hadn't been for Snape…I'd be dead right now. I wanted to get out then, but I couldn't."

"What about Harry?"

Draco looked confused. "What about him?"

"You did terrible things to him, Draco," Hermione said, abandoning her Healing. "I mean, you went to such great lengths as to step on his face and break his nose!"

"He was being a nosy git," Draco replied. "Look, Hermione. I'm sorry for the things I did under the Dark Lord's order, but I'm not sorry for anything I did to Potter, especially during that time. My life was in danger. I never liked him…and let's face it; I'm not his favorite person, either."

"He saved your life!"

"And since then I haven't once tried to break his nose!"

Hermione sighed. "Well, I suppose that's all I can ask for."

She then spread several ointments over the mark and began the incantations that would slowly reverse the effects of the curse, basically burning the mark off as it had been burned on. After an hour and a half (most of which was spent consoling Draco as he whined and moaned over the pain), Hermione was wrapping a white bandage over the place where the Dark Mark had been.

When she'd finished teasing Draco about being a baby, she walked him out of the room and to the front desk. Draco leaned against it with his elbows propped up on the edge. "Before I leave," he said, "can I have a kiss? You know…for appearances?"

Hermione looked at him sternly, and then said, "I guess so."

Draco pulled her close. Hermione had the strong suspicion, as he connected their mouths dramatically, that he knew Becka was watching. He bent her body to the side, almost dipping her, and ravished her mouth hungrily. When he let go Hermione had to steady herself. "See you at home, babe," he said. As he walked away he slapped Hermione's butt with a loud _smack._

She glanced over at Becka, expecting to see her shocked at the horrendous display of public affection she'd just witnessed. Becka just winked.

**Please review and let me know what you think. Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing so far. I never expected this fic to be so popular, but I'm glad you like it. The "good writer" comments really make me feel good. My dream is to be a writer and it helps to know that other people (besides my family and friends, because let's face it…they're not going to tell me I suck) think I'm good at it. Okay, enough of that…please review!**


	18. How many witches do you know?

**Chapter 18: How many witches do you know?**

Hermione and Draco spent the next few weeks in phony marital bliss. The marital part was phony; the bliss part was very real. Draco had stopped begging for sex and they'd actually been having fun pretending to be married. Working and being around the new not-so-horny Draco made time fly by for Hermione.

In their spare time, Hermione was actually enjoying Draco's company. They strolled around town holding hands and sweets. She read aloud to him by the fire while he scratched Crookshanks (who seemed to have found a new home on Draco's lap) behind the ears. Draco even took her on a shopping spree in Flourish and Blotts for some new books. Before she knew it, it was Halloween.

She thankfully had the day off work, so she was able to go see her parents. She convinced Draco to stay behind because she had another stop to make on her way home. When she arrived she unfortunately found Laurie and Tim sitting in the living room, drinking tea with her mother. She was glad that she'd decided to Apparate instead of Flooing. It was sometimes a little nerve-wracking that only her parents knew she was a witch.

"Hello, everyone!" she said happily as she entered.

She received cries of welcome from everyone, except Laurie who obviously hadn't forgiven her yet. They were all dressed up for the occasion. "Would you like some tea, dear?" Mrs. Granger asked. She was wearing a tutu and a leotard with pink ballet slippers. "Yeah, thanks Mum," Hermione replied. She glanced over at Laurie and Tim. Tim was wearing a suit and hat and looked very unhappy. She assumed Laurie had chosen his costume, if you could consider it that. Laurie was wearing a black long-sleeved gown that came down to her ankles, a tall pointed hat, and a false nose that was crooked with a wart on it. Her face was painted green.

"So," Hermione said with a smile, "what are you two dressed up as on this wonderful holiday?"

"I'm the Prime Minister," Tim said, grumpily.

"And I'm a witch!" Laurie said happily.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, that's what you think witches look like, is it?"

"It is what they look like," Laurie said, her smile fading.

"I don't think it is," Hermione replied.

"How would you know?" Laurie asked.

Hermione was about to say something else but Mr. Granger walked into the room. He was wearing green tights and a hat to match, along with the rest of his outfit. Hermione giggled. "Daddy!" she exclaimed. "You didn't tell me you were going to be Peter Pan!"

"That's right!" he said, putting his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest. "I steal from the rich and give to the poor!"

Hermione laughed. "Did you see that Laurie's a witch, Dad?"

Mr. Granger smiled knowingly. "Yes, I did. It's a wonderful costume, Laurie. But I don't think that's what witches really look like."

"Why do you people keep saying that?" Laurie said, looking frustrated. "That's what Aunt Jane said too. What do you mean it's not what they 'really' look like? Witches _really_ don't exist. I'm a witch! This is what witches would look like! Stop telling me it's not, like you know everything! How many witches do you know?"

……………….

After Hermione left her parents' house she went Diagon Alley to visit George. She knocked on the door of his apartment above his shop. He answered immediately, grinning. "Why, hello," he said, letting her inside.

"Hello," she replied, walking in. "I know I'm a bit unannounced but…George! Your ear!"

"What?"

"Your ear, you have an ear!"

"Yes, Hermione," George said. "So do you. If you'll notice, you have two."

"No, no, no," she said. "The ear you didn't have is back!"

"Oh," George grinned. "Didn't you notice at your party? It's an Extendable Ear. I fashioned it to look like a real one and charmed it so it'll stay in place. Quite ingenious, if you ask me. Plus, I can hear _everything_."

"Ah," said Hermione, very impressed. "Nice job. Hi, Fred." She'd just glanced at the wall from the corner of her eye and saw Fred traipsing into his painting that hung on the wall.

"Hello," he said, with a wicked smile on his oil-painted face. "How's it going, Hermione?"

"Pretty good," Hermione replied.

"Where've you been?" George asked Fred's portrait.

"I went to visit that painting of the veela with the low-cut dress in your office," Fred answered. "She's a sweet girl, she is." His smile broadened.

"Now," said George, sitting on his sofa, turning away from the painting of his brother. "I know you didn't come here to talk about my ears."

"Well," Hermione hesitated. She was now thinking that it might not have been such a good idea to come to see George. "I…well…"

"Come on, spit it out," George said, placing a hand around his new ear. "I'm listening."

"I was just wondering how Ron is," Hermione said.

"He's just dandy," said George.

"Really?"

"No."

"George…"

"He's in a terrible mood lately," George said. "After the whole incident, and I think you know which one I mean considering you were one of the participants, he had to practically beg Nita to get back with him. Now I think he regrets it because he's all gloomy. I honestly don't think he likes her very much and…he's about to knock on the door."

"What?"

_Knock. Knock._

Ron entered the room carrying a large box, hiding his face. He kicked the door closed with his foot and walked to the middle of the room in front of the couch. "Here's that new order," he said. "You better not send it back either. I had to talk for a half an hour to that bloke about how his grandfather buys a new toothbrush every time he goes out."

He sat the box on the couch and turned, seeing Hermione for the first time. "Oh," he said, his ears turning red. "I didn't know you were here."

"You know," George said, "it's funny now when my ears do that because only the one does it. The real one, I mean. It's hilarious."

"George," Hermione said, "could we have a moment…alone?"

"But this is my house," he said.

"Please?"

"Alright," George said, "but you do realize I'll be able to hear you anywhere I go, right?"

"Well, then could you please go somewhere where you won't be able to hear us?"

"Fine," he said, getting up. "I'll be in Hogsmeade then." He grumbled something about having to travel so far away just to be out of earshot of their conversation. It seemed his Extendable Ear had turned against him. He opened the door and said before shutting it, "I hope you know that Fred'll tell me everything you say when I get back."

Hermione saw Fred nodding in agreement as he sat in his painted chair.

"Ron," Hermione began. "I really think we should talk about what happened."

"Why?" Ron asked bitterly. "What does it matter? You're in love with Malfoy. I'm with Nita. It's never going to work for us, Hermione. It never has, it never will."

"I'm not in--" she began, but she stopped herself. She'd almost said that she wasn't in love with Draco. She really wanted to say it. She wanted to scream it at him. She wanted to blurt out the whole dirty truth. She wanted to say that she'd only married Draco because he was paying her to restore his name. She wanted to yell that she really loved him, Ron. She wanted to scream and yell and punch and kick and scream some more and be done with the entire thing. Instead she said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For marrying Draco Malfoy," she said.

Ron looked as though she'd just used the stunning spell on him. "You're sorry?"

"Yes," she replied. "I'm sorry, but this is the way it is and we need to accept that. Both of us need to accept that. I'm married and you're in a relationship. We need to put our feelings for each other aside. There cannot be anymore situations like the one at my party. I love you, Ron, and I need us to be friends again. I'm sorry for marrying Draco, and I hope one day you will forgive me."

"Are you feeling okay?" Ron asked.

"I feel a lot better than I have in a long time," Hermione replied.

She stepped closer to him and pecked him on the cheek. Ron looked shocked and confused. She didn't wait for him to say anything. "Think about it and I'll see you later," Hermione said.

As she walked out of the room she heard Fred yell, "Ron, you're a bloody idiot."

………………….

When Hermione got home she found half a dozen black roses waiting at the foot of the stairs. On the card that was attached to them it read:

_Meet me upstairs._

**Please review. You needn't apologize for long reviews, those are my favorite ones.**

_*****YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE THAT FOLLOWS.*****_

**I just wanted to give those of you who are interested a little info about my life. I've found a job finally after quitting Subway in January. It's been a long, depressing five months…and I'm glad to have a job again. The only problem is I had to take my dreadlocks out after having them in for a mere seven months. I'm heartbroken. I feel as though I've ripped a part of myself out and it hurts me that I was forced to, just to be able to make some money. It hurts me even more that actually did it. I know none of this is important, but as I feel we have a sort of bond as writer/reviewers, I wanted you to know this (if you care at all) and feel my pain. I want you to know that after a horrible day, when I sit down to check my email and I read the wonderful reviews you guys send me, it really helps. Thank you for reading my story…I wish I was able to hug each and every one of you. You brighten my world more than you will ever know. Until next time…**

**Peace,**

**Leigh'sa**

**hermyandronforevr**


	19. Eight months

**Hey, I'm back again. I know it's been a really long time…**

**A lot of things have happened in my life…I'm a grown up now. **

**This isn't the greatest of chapters in my opinion, but it's necessary for the plot. We'll get to the good stuff in the next chapter. :]**

**Chapter 19: Eight months**

Hermione picked up one of the black roses. The stem was really smooth and completely thorn-less. As soon as she touched it, it coiled around her wrist and up her arm. It perched on her shoulder and nuzzled its soft petals against her cheek. She smiled and made her way up the stairs to the bedroom. She opened the door to find Draco tying a silky green tie around his neck.

"Hey," he said. "You like the Ever-Loving Roses, I see." He was watching the rose weave itself around Hermione's neck, tickling her.

"Yes, I do," she said, stroking the black petals. "They're really friendly."

"I thought you'd like them," he said. "I also thought you'd like this." He went to the closet and extracted a long black evening gown. It had long flared sleeves and looked like it was silkier than Draco's tie.

"It's beautiful!" Hermione cried, rushing over to feel the fabric. The only thing she'd ever felt that was softer than this dress was Harry's invisibility cloak. It flowed through her fingers like water, only solid. "What's the occasion?" she asked, looking up at her husband. "Two gifts in one night? Even your real wife would be suspicious."

"Well," he began, "it's Halloween. I thought it'd be good for our marriage to go out and have some fun. You know, good publicity."

"Ah, I see," Hermione said, not sure if she believed this. "Well, where are we going?"

"There's this thing going on at Circe's. Nothing crazy, just a low key Halloween party."

"Okay, well, I'm going to go get ready," she said, rushing to the bathroom. She slipped on the dress and was not surprised that it was the most comfortable thing she'd ever worn. It felt as though she weren't wearing anything at all. The Ever-Loving Rose had perched itself on top of her head. Watching it in the mirror, she realized that she had to do something with her hair. It was a little frizzier than usual and she didn't know where to start. As though it had read her mind, her rose slithered down past her ear, scooped her hair up with its stem and twisted it elegantly on top of her head, allowing its flower to set in the middle.

She grinned and said, "Thanks." She didn't worry about make-up, it took too long and she was excited to be going out. When she re-entered the bedroom, Draco was sitting on the bed waiting for her.

Hermione sipped her drink quietly. She swayed to the music and hummed quietly, waiting for Draco to return from the bathroom. A swirl of flaming red hair engulfed her suddenly. She was being embraced by Ginny.

"Hey!" Ginny said happily as she pulled away. "Happy Halloween!"

"You too," Hermione replied. "And you, Harry." She'd just noticed that Harry was standing behind Ginny. "Where'd you come from? I didn't see you at all."

"We were under the invisibility cloak," Ginny said, giggling.

"Why?"

"Because," Harry said, taking a great gulp from his bottle of firewisky, "I didn't know if anyone from work was going to be here and I claimed to be sick today. So we were being cautious. The coast is clear so we can be visibly intoxicated now."

"Pahahh!" Ginny exclaimed, half-choking half-laughing at Harry's joke. "I think I might already be visibly drunk." She looked over at Harry. He just smiled at her.

"You don't say…" Hermione smiled. She saw that Draco was coming back over.

"Hello," he said half-heartedly to Harry and Ginny as he stood next to Hermione.

"Hi," Ginny said, trying to regain her composure. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thanks," Draco said, not returning the question. He turned to Hermione. "Want to dance?"

"Sure."

"Us too!" Ginny yelped, grabbing Harry's hand and pulling him to the dance floor.

"I'm not drunk enough to dance," Harry moaned.

"I'm drunk enough for the both of us," Ginny said.

Hermione enjoyed herself twirling around the dance floor with Draco. It was helpful to have a partner that could dance well. Whenever she danced with Ron he was never serious about it. He would goof around to cover his bad coordination. It was always entertaining though…

She couldn't think of Ron right now. She was with Draco and she was having fun, but she couldn't help but wonder where Ron was. They finished the dance and Harry and Ginny went to find a table. She took the opportunity to find out while Draco was refilling their drinks.

"Hey, Ginny," Hermione said, walking over to the table where Harry and Ginny were sitting. "Where's Ron?"

"He's out on a date," Ginny said. "Some girl named Lassy…or…Doily…or something. Why?"

"Oh," Hermione replied, slightly taken aback. She hadn't expected that. "Just-wondering. You know…"

"Ah," said Harry. "Wonderment…I do know it well…"

"Hah! I love you…you're hilarious," Ginny laughed.

"Wait," Hermione said, "what happened to Nita?"

"Oh, Hermione" Ginny said, not answering the question, "I almost forgot to tell you: Mum wants you and Draco to come to dinner on Sunday. She says you never come to see her anymore and if you don't show up she's going to come to your house and make dinner there."

Hermione stared at her. "Hey, it's her words, not mine," Ginny said, throwing her hands up defensively. "Oh, hey, there's Ron. Ron! Hey! Ron! Over here!"

Ginny was flailing her arms so wildly, she hit Harry in the face and knocked his glasses askew. Hermione whipped around and saw Ron holding hands with a brunette. He made his way over, the girl trailing behind him.

"Hey," he said, a little breathlessly. "This is Dandeee."

"I told you!" Ginny said in a drunkenly triumphant way.

"You said Doily," Harry whispered.

"Shh…" said Ginny, holding a finger to her lips.

"Dandeee," Ron continued, "this is my sister, Ginny…and that's Harry, I told you about him…" He paused and glanced at Hermione. He didn't seem to know how to introduce her. He still didn't speak. Hermione was slightly offended. _Well, you could say, "This is Hermione, our friend," _she thought. _Or you know…"This is the girl I once told was the love of my life." _Either would do, really.

He said neither. All he said was, "And this is Hermione." _Or the girl I fucked for two years…_Hermione thought bitterly.

"Nice to meet you all," Dandeee said, smiling. She had a round face and bright eyes. She would have been really cute if Hermione didn't want to punch her in the face so badly. Hermione realized she must have been scowling because Dandee was looking confused and embarrassed. She was looking from Ron to Hermione and back again. Maybe she felt some tension?

"Dandee's an unusual name," Ginny said. It looked like she was giving the poor girl the evil eye, but she was actually just trying to look sober.

"Yeah, it's actually Dandelion," she replied, sitting down with Ron. She had such a disgustingly sweet high-pitched girly voice…in Hermione's opinion. "But I've been called Dandee since I can remember."

_Dandee. Dan-deee, _Hermione thought to herself. _What a stupid name. _

Why was she so jealous? She thought she'd gotten past this whole thing with Ron. They were just friends now. She was married…sort of…and he was dating other people. That's the way it was supposed to be…right?

They sat at the table for a bit. Hermione wondered where Draco had gotten to. He'd been gone a really long time. There were a few polite questions for Dandee from Harry and Ginny. Hermione said nothing. Ron seemed determined not to look at Hermione at all. After a few minutes everyone fell quiet and there was a palpable uncomfortable silence. The only sounds were the clinking of ice against glass, the music, and the other non-embarrassing conversations going on at the other tables.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Dandee said, looking slightly uneasy.

"Oh, I'll come with you," Ginny said, hopping up. "And you too, Harry," she added, pulling at Harry's arm.

"I don't need to powder my nose, thanks," he said, wrenching his arm loose from her grip.

"Yes, but if you don't go to the bathroom, Ron and Hermione won't get a chance to talk in private," she mumbled through gritted teeth. Harry got up and reluctantly followed Ginny to the restrooms.

"So," Hermione said, looking at her empty glass. "What happened to Nita?"

"Well," Ron said, finally looking at her properly. He was slouched down in his chair and had his arms crossed against his chest. "After she caught me kissing you, she really didn't feel the need for our relationship to continue."

"Yeah, that would do it," Hermione said, looking at her hands. She was spinning her wedding ring again. "But you said earlier today that you were still seeing her."

"So, where's Malfoy?" Ron asked, eyeing the ring, ignoring the comment. "Did you two finally call it quits?" He had a small amount of hope in his voice.

"No," she said. "He went to get us more drinks, but I don't know what happened to him." She looked over her shoulder again.

"He's probably shagging the bartender behind the counter," Ron said, looking at the floor.

"Excuse me?" Hermione snapped.

"Look, Hermione," Ron said. "Why are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"This…" he said. "There's no reason for me to even be on this date. We should be here together. You and me. We're supposed to be together."

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "How many times do I have to tell you? We keep having this discussion," she realized she was almost shouting and lowered her voice, "and I'm sick of it. I'm _married._" She held up her left hand and shoved her wedding band in his face. "Married! I have a husband. I live with him. I sleep with him. I will someday have his children! Married!" She jerked the ring off her finger and practically shoved it up his nose. The ring vibrated a little and whizzed back onto Hermione's hand. She wanted to scream. Instead she glared at him and breathed heavily.

Ron eyed her for a moment . She wasn't sure if he was thinking or if her shrieking had merely gotten to the point where he could no longer understand her. She knew the last two comments were not entirely truthful. She did sleep with Draco, but not in a sexual sense, and she was definitely under no circumstances, going to have his children. But Ron didn't know that.

"You haven't had sex yet, have you?" Or did he know?

"What?" Hermione said. "Of course I have! You of all people know-"

"I know _you_ have," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "As many times as we…anyway…I meant, you and Malfoy haven't had sex yet, have you?"

_How could he possibly know that? _"Of course we have," she lied. "What kind of married couple doesn't have sex?"

"I don't know, Hermione," said Ron, sounding like a detective during an interrogation. "That's what I'm trying to figure out. Why you, of all people, would marry someone you're not in love with?"

"What makes you think I'm not in love with him?" Hermione asked. She was getting a little angry now. It wasn't because his accusations were wrong; it was because they were right. It made her uncomfortable. No one was supposed to know this wasn't a real marriage.

"Come on, Hermione," Ron said. "The way you look at me…it's just like…you know, before. You still love me and I still love you. I think we should get back together."

He sounded so sincere…so matter-of-fact. It wasn't like Ron to be so forward. It was true, she did still love him. And, yes, if she were free to do it, she would be with him again. After that declaration, she'd probably be jumping his bones on top of the table…but she made a promise to Draco. She was going to finish out the deal. If Ron really loved her, he'd wait for her.

She felt slightly selfish. Ron was staring at her, waiting for an answer. Tears filled the corners of Hermione's eyes. She felt one slip over her bottom lashes and slide down the side of her nose. She wiped it away quickly with the back of her hand.

"You broke my heart, Ron," she said, staring into his face. He wasn't slumped over anymore; he was sitting straight up with his face close to hers. "I loved you so much and you ended it. And so…I've done something I never would have done had things been different. I do still love you…but I need you to forget about me for a while."

Ron's brow crinkled. "What?"

"I just need some time," Hermione said.

"Time for what?" He sounded hurt and a little angry.

"I can't explain it right now," she said. "I probably never will. This is just how it has to be for now. I have a husband and this is my life…right now." She stood up. "I'm sorry."

She turned and walked away. She found Draco by the crowded bar and told him she wanted to leave. They were almost to the door when someone tapped Draco on the shoulder. They both turned around. It was Ron.

"I just want you to know," Ron said very seriously to Draco, "that you don't deserve her."

Draco opened his mouth to retort, but Hermione pulled at his arm. "Wait for me outside," she whispered. Draco looked like he was about to argue, but sighed and went outside, glaring at Ron before doing so.

Hermione noticed that Dandee was standing a few feet behind Ron looking even more confused than before. Ron was breathing slowly and his ears were pink. He stared at Hermione hard. "I meant that," he said.

"I know," she replied.

"How long?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"Do I have to wait?" he said.

"Eight months," she answered.

Ron paused. "I can do that," he said.

Hermione smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Hermione ran to him and hugged him. "Okay. Just friends until then, though," she said. She kissed him on the cheek and ran out the door. On her way out she heard Dandee saying, "Who is that girl? What were you talking about?"

Draco pushed Hermione onto the bed. She fell back and bounced a little. He pushed the hem of her dress up to the top of her thighs, rubbing her legs while doing so. She lifted her hips and then her arms as he pulled the dress off entirely. He kissed down her collar bone, between her breasts, rubbing his hands roughly over her black bra. His trail of kisses continued all the way down to her underwear.

Using two fingers, he slid her underwear off and kissed every inch that they'd been covering. Hermione moaned and gripped the sheets as Draco gently pulled her legs apart. He retraced his trail, going up this time, with his tongue.

**Okay, review and tell me what you think. I have the internet at my house now, so I'll be able to update more often. I'm thinking of doing a poll for the ending of this story. So…Ron or Draco? You help decide. **

**PS: The Peter Pan/Robin Hood thing in the last chapter was meant to be a joke. I guess I should have made that more clear. Sorry!**


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